24 July 2015

Meet my new home - Earth 2.0 discovered by NASA

I have a great announcement to make. I am packing as we speak, packing my ass off because I am moving and moving very fast to...Earth 2.0. You got that right. I just found out that NASA discovered this new planet and I thought, Fuck our Earth I am moving to the upgrade. A place where I can be free from all the nonsense of this world, free from all the bullshit and have some peace and quiet for a change.

So yes, I am moving and since I am the first one to move there I am calling it my own. Nigi, that is the name of the new planet, will be a beautiful place filled with love, nature and creativity. And it will be mine, mine alone! No one else is allowed to move in unless I say so. And of course I am not planning on going there alone, I will be taking a few things with me. 

I am taking my guitars, my stories, my laptop, all my pens and notebooks because I can't live without them. I am also taking some nice music, a microphone for my singing nights, my silversmith tools and my book collection. Fuck clothes, I don't need those on my new planet.
I am also taking my mom. Can't leave my mom here so I am taking her with me because I like talking to her and her keeping me company (I also love her cooking :)).

I will also be taking a puppy. Yes I want a cute little puppy to keep me company there as well and it keeps me active since I need to walk him every day.

Chris Hemsworth. Yes I am taking Chris with me since I will be responsible for the new population growth of Nigi. But I will take his kids with me too because...well, hang on.

Sam and Dean Winchester. I am taking both of them with me and their kids. I can't make all the children then let them fuck each other that would be sick and majorly incestuous but if I bring the kids of others and let them date each other when they grow up...I am too smart for my own good.
Look at Dean's cute daughter and Sam's two sons. So cuteee!!!
And...I am taking Castiel and his kids too 'cause my mom loves him so much (and I wouldn't want her to steal my men ;))


Trent Ford. I am bringing Trent for sure. He has no children yet (I think) so I intend to give him some of my own. Look at our yet to be born beautiful three kids!

Alcohol. I will bring some alcohol with me. Some wine, some beer, some tequila, I will be needing lots of alcohol just to set the mood right (not for me but for...them :), imagine them stuck with me on a whole new planet...)

And last but not least I will be taking a TV so I can watch all of you crazy people struggle like idiots on our...old planet. Yes the TV will be working just fine because I will have all the utilities needed...

So goodbye to you all! So long Earth, I am leaving you for my new home to build a better future for all of us: Planet Nigi! A planet with no sorrow, poverty or pain, but only love, alcohol, music and passion!

 ps: No, I am not insane and No the pics are not creepy at all!