30 June 2015

Love and other sorts...

Never a topic that just dies out. Love is in my opinion one of the most complicated and simple creations of this world. It’s even more complicated than hate, yet just as simple as a kiss…

In my 'opminion' there are many sorts of love. Here they are. Please ask yourself in which category you fall.

1.       Lazy love

At one point in your life you might find yourself with a partner that you cherish so much, you actually forgot why you cherished him or her in the first place. Lazy love is the kind of love that keeps on going, even though you are not sure if it’s pure. It keeps on going because you are used to it being there and you never ask yourself what would happen if it wasn’t.

Well, you could go and find yourself someone else but the partner you are with is just…good. Not perfect, not amazing, but good. The most common sentence used is ‘he or she will make a fine father/mother.’ You are basically in this relationship because you know this person is fine for a standard life, standard family and standard goals. The man is for example a very calm person, will never cheat and is most likely to stay forever with his wife; the woman cooks, takes care of the laundry and gives the man the space he needs.
Lazy love is love you do nothing for and it goes on and on until one of you realizes it’s time to get off the couch and actually do some effort. At this point the lazy love either dies or changes into something else, something better.

2.       Interest love

The person next to you isn’t the one you have been longing for, doesn’t put a smile on your face when he or she comes home but has a good financial status and is very likely to offer you a good life. It’s either the money he or she has, the qualities that he or she has (for example very good in bed, sucks at everything else…in a bad way…) or has a good perfect family so that the people around you will see you as a happy and fulfilled person.

Interest love is always catchy because you always need to have something to offer your partner as well. And if the ‘interest’ goes away at one point then the love is very likely to leave as well.

3.       Single love

You are a single and come to the conclusion that you are happy just the way you are. No need for a man or a woman because that will only bring you trouble. Well, lovely illusion you got there my friend but you are only fooling yourself. There is no such thing as being alone is better. You don’t have to be in a relationship because you don’t want to be alone but you should be in a relationship in which you are truly happy. Get off your butt and put yourself out there. It's never too late, unless you are dead (even then you could find yourself a lovely zombie or vamp).

4.       Fear love

Afraid of losing the other person. Afraid of hurting his or her feelings because he or she is oh so in love with you? Bullshit. Be a man or a woman and find the balls to break it off. Some people are afraid of leaving their relationships because the partner is either too violent, too needy or too perfect to let go. You are afraid of ending up alone, never finding anyone else, perhaps losing a good catch. Even though you don’t actually care enough for that person, you force yourself to, too scared of the idea of being without.
5.       Dreamy love

This is where it gets tricky. Dreamy love is imagining you are in a relationship in which you are not. You think the other person loves you madly but you are so blinded that you cannot see that that person basically just doesn’t care. Blind love could also be a name for it. You give, and give and give, get nothing in return yet you imagine you are. Until you wake up and realize you have been a fool.


6.       True love

The most horrible of them all. This is when after ten years you know exactly why you love the other person, you always smile when you see that person and if asked what is your ideal man or woman, you basically look at your partner. The tricky part and the actual difference between dreamy love and true love is that the feeling is mutual. You are willing to die for your partner any day, in any way and your partner knows that and is willing to do just the same.

This is also called Fantasy love because it can hardly be found these days and is easily mistaken with any of the above mentioned types.

How do you know it’s true love? Well...you know. Ask any man, any woman on the street if their relationship is true love. Don’t listen to the answer, look at their faces, look in their eyes and you will know.

You got my point, the ones that got it. There is no such thing as Lazy love, Interest love, Fear love or Dreamy love because those cannot be called ‘love’. True love is the only love that exists and the ones that have it are very rare in this world, so to you I say, keep it, never let it go and always fight for it. To the ones that don’t have it, never settle for anything less and fight until you find it and then of course…never let it go.

And never forget in order for your love to be true you must be true with yourself and the one you love, no pride, no hesitations, no games, no lies and no fear.



11 June 2015

Fear of Change

It’s so cliché but I guess you can only understand it better when facing the facts. Fear has been my enemy since childhood. Fear of losing the ones I love, fear I can’t fit in within a group, fear of the dark, fear of failing…And because of fear I put invisible obstacles in my way stopping me from move on, do what I want to do, be the way I want to be. Fear of being rejected, so never telling my true feelings to boys, fear of disappointing others so always choosing the most convenient, neutral path. And the worse of them all, fear of change, the fear of letting go and basically dare to change. Fear that if I change, take a decision it might be the wrong one and make things worse. My current situation isn’t that bad, my current situation is safe I know where it leads to, but change, making a decision might lead to unwanted changes, to mistakes, to regrets, to pain.. Fear of pain and regrets are also my best friends.

But not changing is not growing. If you become a pause, a static factor in your life, you’ll never learn, never grow, never experience new things. So there comes the frustration between being sick of your current life but being too afraid to make a change because no matter how bad things are, they can always get worse.

Never putting your heart out there, never trying anything new, never making decisions, never taking chances. Just saying to yourself I’m not in need of change, just fine the way things are. We become used to our personality and act and think a certain way because we believe that that is it. That is the way we are, the way our lives turned out and there is nothing more to it. We are either too tired or think we are too old to change so we accept the way things are and do nothing about it. So we sink in a rut and eventually loose ourselves in it...It will lead to our very own misery. And who else to blame than ourselves? After all we’re in control. Ambition is overrated unless it’s about your own happiness, that’s where your ambition must lie. You should do anything to make yourself happy, not with meaningless temporary pleasures but the long term happiness, the one that makes you look at yourself in the mirror and see the respect in your eyes.

Fear can only be fought by courage, action. It doesn’t mean a thing what you feel or what you think as long as you don’t do anything about it. What you do matters, action is progress. Fear can be destroyed by action with a touch of hope and love. Hope that one day you’ll be all right. Love the ones that deserve your love and they will stand by you no matter what. And don’t forget baby steps, be patient, take your time. Time, everything happens with time, wounds heal with time, changes are visible with time, time will reveal it all.

And as for fear…fuck fear! Fuck fear and fuck all that comes with it.