20 May 2015

Sleepless in Bucharest

Two months since I came to Romania. The weather has changed from 7 to 27 degrees and it seems full summer outside. I've been going out once in two weeks, started taking guitar and singing lessons, I'm writing quite often and still practice yoga and belly dancing.

I haven't made my mind up just yet. I do feel at home that's for sure. No one is actually making me feel that, I just do. People are either too rude or too nice. I still have to get used to people staring at me with no shame or restrictions. It's like they study me from head to toe, women and men. Not to mention men who basically check me out clearly and with no hold backs. And if I wear something a bit summary (seriously just a flowery top not even a skirt or high heels) then I need to be ready to accept all the comments, kissing noises and whistles. Not so much flattering as extremely uncomfortable but maybe in time I'll learn to see pass that and find it amusing. I guess people here 'see you'. In Holland everyone ignored you, so focused on their own matters, I practically felt invisible there. Here, people notice you, they notice each other and you can see it in their eyes that they want the interaction, not the feeling of individuality. I became more self aware but need to not take it to extremes.

I can count on the weather. I can count on the fact that tomorrow it will be sunny and warm and that the summer will be summer no matter what. I like that. I like how sweet the flowers smell here, how they bloom and shine. I like the taste of fruits and vegetables which go bad in a couple of days here. I had to get used to that. In Holland I could keep some fruits and vegetables up to a few weeks. I can see now that that's not a very good sign.

I like how all the shops are open 'till late at night. Restaurants, shops, clubs, everything is open every day, 24/7 so if you're bored just get out there and you will always find something to do.

I don't like the conditions sometimes. I don't like how people can be careless with almost anything, get things only half done and are sometimes too lazy to actually make something of their lives. They do love to complain a lot though. Sometimes they choose to do some things so complicated without thinking about why they are doing them.

I thought the poverty here will bother me a lot. It doesn't. Aside from the street beggars here and there I haven't seen that side that much. I know it's out there and maybe one day I'll be able to help in my own way.

I've made some new friends but not as many as I had expected. Working opens the social network. I realized that the working conditions in big companies varie but everyone has time for Facebook, Blogs and an hour lunch break. At noon everyone wanders the streets, the cafe's and restaurants.

I like how in a city with 2 million people you can still find the serenity by sitting in a park or walking on the streets. Though I believe I'd be happier somewhere more in the countryside I do enjoy the beating heart of the city.

I love the shopping malls filled with all the shops you want and the market places where you can find just about anything you look for.

I love how I can be with my grandma and every time I leave she insists on me taking some of the vegetables, herbs and fruits she has grown herself. I feel the seasons change a bit better and I have a better understanding on the seasonal fruits and vegetables. Can't wait for the strawberries and raspberries to come out.

I like spending time with my brother even if it's just watching tv and making comments about stuff. I missed having a brother for some good years now. I don't want to miss it again.

I can't really sleep. I spend hours thinking and looking at the night world wondering what I'm doing here (and to make it more complex what am I doing on Earth...). I do get up on time in the morning. I force myself to as I'd hate losing a day of exploring.

So there you have it, likes and dislikes but beside that I have to deal with a rollercoaster of feelings and self-evaluations. I am quite good at criticizing myself, overthinking and worrying about the future. But I take each day at a time and enjoy the little things. So for now I remind myself how to keep calm and just breathe.

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