19 December 2015

Ce vor barbatii? Femeia tuturor femeilor

Nu, nu! Nu sunt inca beata cu toate ca am scris asta in ultimul meu blog...adica am scris ca probabil voi fi beata de acum incolo. Pe moment sunt inca...treaza mai mult sau mai putin.

Asa de iarna, in spiritul Craciunului uitandu-ma la indragostitii de pe strada, mi-am adus aminte de niste cuvinte din cartea Don Juan scrisa de Josef Toman. Cand e intrebat ce cauta la o femeie, raspunde in urmatorul fel...desi cand citesc aceste randuri imi dau seama ca exact asta cauta si femeia la un barbat...sau ma rog...asta caut eu cel putin....nu stiu daca e de bine sau e de rau...Nu sunt si nu imi doresc un Don Juan dar il inteleg perfect.

'...toata duiosia mamelor si toata impetuozitatea amantelor, sa fie focul fierbinte si apa racoritoare, intelepciunea si nebunia, copilaria stangace si experienta, femeia straveche si totodata juvenila, naiva ca un copil, catifelata, fina si aspra, dura si supusa, miroase a carciuma si a tamaie de biserica, sa intruchipeze deopotriva patul si piatra funerara, omul si fiara, femeia sfanta si totodata diavolul ispititor, femeia tuturor femeilor, frumoasa prin omenia ei, prin daruirea in dragoste, frumoasa la trup si suflet.'

13 December 2015

Home for Christmas

It’s good to be home for Christmas. I haven’t felt this Christmassy since…well…since I left I guess, 20 years ago. Sad but true. I love the lights in the city center, the Christmas fairs, the way the city now looks at night on the street, in the park, it’s breathtaking though the ones living here might not even be aware of how pretty it actually is. To tell you the truth perhaps I won’t see it anymore in a few years either. I am assure I will take a few things for granted as the times passes but I hope I won’t do that with the things and people that matter.

I’ve learned a lot this year though I already thought I knew so much. I learned how much small things matter, how important it is to have real friends and how painful it is to realize that the ones whom you thought were real, aren’t. It’s weird, the lessons I learned are not new or come as a shock yet they do affect me every time I confront them. I guess you can’t be ready for everything in life and sometimes it’s good not to. I won’t say that family matters or that friends matter, I believe that love matters. Love, compassion, understanding, something or someone that makes you feel home or makes you feel like a child again. My childhood wasn’t that great but whose was it? We moved a lot and didn’t get a chance to have a stable home, a stable life. Yet now I want to remember the good little moments of my childhood instead of the turmoil I’ve been through.

I also learned that I shouldn’t be so hard on myself and that I am allowed to lose control from time to time. I’ve always wanted to enjoy every moment of my life, do crazy things yet I sometimes am afraid of crossing the limits or am afraid of what the consequences might be. I should sometimes close my eyes and let it go. Only when you let go you can actually allow yourself to be free, to enjoy life as it is…I have the feeling I have been restricting myself from life, I tried to keep myself in place, restrain myself, that will only work against you in the end. Don’t fight it, life isn’t about that, life is about letting go of the reins.

I am also very aware of the fact that my feelings can change from today to tomorrow. Today I might be in love, tomorrow I might be angry or frustrated. Feelings can be so complicated when you try to write them down so why bother with them in the first place? Feel like you want to feel and don’t worry about it.

I am looking forward to spending Christmas with my family and New Year with my friends. It will be fun, it’s guaranteed. I might not feel great all the time, I might have my moments, I might feel even sad or depressed but I don’t care, I will also feel happy, at home, playful, warm and at peace…for the time being for I know that that little itch inside me will never stop, never cease, an itch that no one understand unless they have it too but hey, we can’t win them all, can we?

I wish you all Happy Holidays and may you feel at home, loved and cherished! If not, then I hope you will soon be, because if one thing this year taught me it’s this: anything can happen, anytime, anywhere when you’re least expected!

Ps: I might post some crazy posts around Christmas time. That will probably be because of tomorrow I decided to start with my new Christmas diet, wine and…more wine! I will not be responsible for the posts from now on ‘till the 2nd or 3rd of January. I apologize for any inconvenience J no I don’t…I really don’t give a damn...and that’s the Christmas spirit talking ;)

Happy Holidays everyone and may you not give a fuck!

05 December 2015

10 Things I Hate About You

People always ask 'what do you seek in a partner?' I'm sure many of you have been asked that same question. Women tend to come up with a huge list of demands 'tall, handsome, financially stable, funny, spontaneous etc.' Men are a bit more practical...'perky boobs, great legs, pretty face, no tendencies to get fat in the future and not all too materialistic.'

Of course there are exceptions some men actually want 'smart women'  though no man likes a woman who is smarter than he is, and some women want a man they feel attracted to but who has a 'good heart'.

And let's face it no on Earth falls for that 'don't care how he looks like, it's the inside that counts.' That's bullshit and complete nonsense. We all want to walk next to a partner we feel attracted to and proud of, to show around not like a toffee but more like 'this one is mine!'

What do I look for? Well I'm simply looking for the male version of me. Some people dream of a perfect partner but they never look at what they have to offer themselves. Let's say a poor girl looking for a rich perfect handsome guy or a nerd looking for a woman looking like a Barbie doll. I mean sure, you're looking for the ideal partner but what do you have to offer in return? Why should she or he be with you in the first place? Looking for a faithful partner while you love to fuck around? Looking for a good hearted partner when you're a selfish bitch? It doesn't work that way. Unless your partner is too weak to stand up for her or himself or you are willing to change.

But to sum it all up, here are the 10 things I hate in a partner. I am curious whether you share my opinion about this.

1. Violent. Sure I like the occasional spanking on the butt cheeks just like any other decent girl but getting beat up to pulp doesn't really fit in my dreamy picture. I hate men who express their anger or frustration through violence, physical or mental. And women who like slapping a man or scratching him (not in the good way) expecting men not to hit them back are just as bad as these men. And don't come to me with that 'oh I ain't violent I've just got a hot temper' crap!

2. Liar, liar. You know the type of men that start believing in their own lies? I hate those. Women lie as well but always get that puppy look on their faces when caught and use sex as a distraction.

3. Selfish. This has got to be one of the worst traits a person can have. Selfish! Can't love anything or anyone around him or her. First of all people who do not love animals are already off the list. If you can't love a cat or a dog then you are definitely not worth anyone's attention. Not loving your family unless they do things for you, not hanging out with your friends unless they're buying. Thinking only of yourself is basically a life doomed to fail.

4. Addicted. If it's drugs, drinking or gambling. I hate junkies. I don't like them smoking either but compared to the first three I'd say that's the least of our problems. Respect your body and have a strong will. Oh and ladies, being a shopaholic isn't cute, stop spending money on expensive useless crap!


5. Cheater. I despise cheaters. A man who can't get enough and he's always thinking with his dick is no go for me. They say all men cheat but come on, you have cheaters and Charlie Sheens. I want my man to be mine only, no sharing! And believe me women are cheaters too they are just more discreet about it...that does not make them any better!

6. Macho Macho man. If you think the size of your dick is more important than the size of your brain then you are so totally wrong. I can already spot them from a distance, the macho male behavior, men sitting in meetings, basically putting their dicks on the table to see which one is the biggest, men in clubs all pumped up as if they just came out of a sex toy package. And don't get me started on that jealous act shit either. Too cave like behavior if you ask me. Sure a bit of jealousy is healthy but let's not keep your partner on a leash just because you are insecure. This also counts for the women, women can act like 'macho bitches' as well.

7. Arrogant. There is such a big difference between being self-assured and just purely arrogant. Especially when there isn't much to explore in the first place. Women thinking they are Beyoncé (who ain't all that in the first place) and men acting like they are unique. You are not unique, you are not perfect and you are not that special! Love it when this trait is also accompanied by Vanity. Such a delightful combination, arrogant and ignorant. Lovely.

8. Cheap. Oh don't get me started on this one. Sure there are people who can't afford certain stuff (and there is nothing wrong with that!) but you can always smell the cheap ones out. The ones that only get you gifts on discount or eat in certain places cause the water there is 5 cents cheaper than in the other places, the Mr. Scrooge, counting his pennies type. Give me a break will you? And those women who just always, always count on the fact that the man is paying for dinner, Jesus ladies, pay for once will ya?

9. Dirty. I love personal hygiene...If you ain't smelling good then you are probably not showering that often in the first place. A man who takes care of himself and a woman who smells nice is basically the essence of...life.

10. Rude. I think you should always be polite to people, to everyone around you. I hate it when a man tries to impress a woman by being rude to the waiter for example. That's just male, brainless behavior and complete bullshit. You are not better than the rest so don't act like you are! Women do it too just to show how strong they have become, it can't get any stupider than that!

There you have it. 10 things I hate meaning that is exactly what I am not. I am loving, honest, noble, humbled, faithful, generous and basically smell nice...And I look for the same traits in the person before me. Simple as that. I think these are traits that shouldn't be that difficult to find but hey in a world where money and sex is everything...who gives a shit about the basic traits right? And I am fully aware of the fact that I am not one of a kind (in fact I can be very irrational, unreasonable and crazy), I am not perfect, gorgeous or Ms. Smarty Pants...But, I would like to find someone that makes me feel that way and in the end I think that's what we are all looking for.

26 November 2015

A dance with Casanova

In a time filled with chaos and mixed emotions, a time that moves faster than my own thoughts and in a world that has grown rather cold and strange to me, I find myself crept in a corner, writing a story that takes me away, away from it all…I find myself daydreaming of beauty, desire and love.

I hope you like the story and you can daydream with me, even for a moment, be her, be him, it does not matter.

Some of you will not understand this story; others will know exactly what I am talking about. The story is for all of you.

I had met many Casanova’s in my life and I knew their mind games, tricks and deceit. Though I cannot say I was totally immune to their charm. The deadliest seducers of them all were the ones that had the looks, talent and brain, all in one and knew how to use a combination of those quite well. I recall a conversation with one of them… and though he was a hunter I was never his prey. But he did make me understand the game better, perhaps even understand men better.

We were in a restaurant enjoying a glass of wine and just facing one another.

‘What is it with men and their constant need to conquer?’ I asked.

‘You’re a woman so you can’t possible understand,’ he said condescendingly.

‘I understand that you, men, are just as smart as you were thousands of years ago. Yet you haven’t evolved one bit, just the animal instinct like it has always been, spread the seed, have as many as you can.’

‘When you put it that way, you take all the fun out!’ He squinted in a sweet manner.


‘Yes, spread the seed, you say it as if the woman does not approve, as if I just take and leave.’

‘Well? Isn’t that exactly how it goes?’

‘No, she enjoys it too and I give her the night of her life.’

‘How kind of you,’ I said sarcastically.

‘Why do you say it like that? A woman loves to have that one passionate night that she will remember all her life, to chuckle and blush at the very thought of the details of that night. How great it was, how intense…’

´You really do have a very high opinion about yourself, don’t you?’

‘Well, I know I’m good at it.’

‘You act as if you are the best! ´

´Would you like to try? ´

´No, I meant to say that you only act like that.’

‘I don’t go there and just perform. The woman does her part. She unleashes her desires and shows me all that she can be. It’s not just me, the sex is great because we are both committed, in the moment and truly in love with each other.’

‘So, that’s what you live for, moments?’

‘Isn’t life just a series of moments until we grow old and realize that’s all we have left? Think what you like but I loved and respected all the women I had, and remember every one of them.’

‘Love? Your love is temporary.’

‘That kind of love is always temporary.’

‘So your love for let’s say your mother, father, those are also temporary?’

‘No, of course not! If I’d love my women like I love my family there would be no passion. And love should always go with passion.’

‘What about children?’

‘What about them?’

‘Don’t you want a family of your own some day?’

‘I do.’

‘Then what the hell are you looking for?’

‘Challenges, passion, moments, have you not been listening?’

‘Isn’t that just avoiding the fact that you’re not happily married?’

‘I am happily married!’

‘Uh..I really don’t understand.’ At this point I leaned back and watched him confused.

‘I love my wife, I worship her but I need my own distractions from time to time and it’s only good for us. I love her with just as much passion as I love all of them, perhaps even more.’

‘But what is love and love? You love your wife, you love your women, you love your parents…Which is which?’

‘Why must you analyze it so?’

‘Because I don’t understand. Did someone break your heart in the past? Is that it?’

‘Why must there be something wrong with me? Something wrong in my past? Women always like us scarred and complicated, mature and playful, wanted by all yet not looking at any, an angel and a devil, a child and a parent…it’s controversial, it’s impossible. It’s wanting a man good in bed but how do you think he can become that good?’

‘Are you saying that all men should sleep with hundreds of women in order to gain experience and thus satisfy more women?’

‘It’s not a bad idea. Why are you looking at me like that?’

‘And women?  Shouldn’t they?’

‘Not really, men dominate, women don’t. A man must feel like a man.’

‘You sound like a cave man!’

‘Our urges and instincts have never changed. Our fear and society decided to put us on a leash. Why not think free? Why not live free?’

‘Because we also have a brain!’

‘It has nothing to do with that. I am a very well-educated man. I just don’t let my fears block my life, stop me from the pleasure of living. Look around you and show me how many people truly live free, are happy with who they are, or with one another and can truly do whatever they like?’

‘What about the consequences?’

‘There are always consequences. I don’t hurt people. I don’t lie, I’m completely honest.’

‘What if a woman falls in love with you? And you don’t like her anymore?’

‘They know what they’re getting into from the start. I can’t be responsible for exaggerated or foolish behaviour. I usually meet mature, real women who don’t have that problem.’

‘How convenient!’ I snorted.

‘It is. No one is hurt.’

‘How about…your wife?!’

‘The last thing I’d do is hurt my wife and children.’

‘I can’t be with you!’ I just blurted out. He seemed very surprised by this sudden change of conversation.

‘Why not?’ He chuckled.

‘I…fall in love easily and it takes a long time to get over it.’

‘It’s a beautiful thing, don’t ever oppress that!’

‘If…I am to have you, I want you all to myself.’

‘And you shall have me all to yourself!’

‘No, I mean all the time, just mine!’

‘That, I cannot do. I can offer you unforgivable moments, moments of happiness and pleasure.’

‘I’m sure you can.’

‘Then what’s the problem?’ He leaned forward frowning at me. I was glad the table separated us for fear and excitement took hold of me.

‘I am a complete woman to deserve a complete man, not just half, not share!’ I said honestly.

‘You’re confusing pleasure with marriage, my love. I’m sure one day you’ll meet a wonderful man who’ll be fully yours.’

‘But cheat as all men do,’ I concluded.

‘That…I cannot say,’ he answered amused.

‘You’re still a mystery to me,’ I blurted out again.

‘That’s good,’ he softly said.

‘You seem so deep yet so vain.’

‘Vain?’ he asked the word clearly bothering him.

‘You act as if it’s all so simple. It is as if you are wearing a mask and I don’t know who you truly are.’

‘I can be whatever you want me to be yet I assure you I remain and I am myself.’

‘Another puzzle then.’

‘It’s only a puzzle if you see it that way. You complicate things, think too much of what’s supposed to be, what it ought to be.’

‘You’re only here to sleep with me.’

‘Be with you,’ he corrected.

‘And if I refuse?’

‘Then that’s all right too. It’s not an obligation. I won’t stay awake at nights and think, she’s the one that got away. Women always want to feel wanted, desired, you want men to go insane just thinking about you, you want to be unique. You are not, though you are all unique in your own way.’

I smiled.

‘So what do we do?’ he asked taking advantage of that smile.

‘You tell me!’ I teased.

He smiled.

‘You want me to surrender,’ I replied to his smile.

He grinned looking absolutely adorable.

‘It’s a game isn’t it?’ I continued, ‘Chase after the woman, at first she seems so hard to get but eventually, oh, the sweet surrender?’

‘Yes,’ he said and he seemed very excited about it.

‘But the problem is...I hate losing.’

‘There is no losing or winning. It’s giving yourself to me as I am already willing to give myself to you. I surrender too.’

‘You do have your way with words.’

‘Good,’ he said yet he wasn’t smiling.

‘I hate you for being so arrogant, self assured and just so…full.. of it.’ Anger took over me.

‘I know you do.’ The words came out as a whisper and it just…calmed me down.


‘So, what will it be?’ he asked clearly getting impatient.

‘Let’s start with…a dance.’

‘A dance?’ He asked confused.

‘I love to dance.’

‘I bet you do. We can do whatever you want.’

‘Just a dance. But not the rest.’

‘What a horrible request!’ He chuckled irritated.

 ‘Just a dance,’ I repeated. ‘Could you? Would you?’

‘And then what?’

‘At the end of the dance you kiss me goodbye and we never see each other again.’

‘Is that what you want?’

‘It’s the way it has to be.’

‘You women dream too much of a perfect…’

‘Moment?’ I interrupted, ‘that’s what we live for, remember?’

He bit his lip and frowned at me. I had no idea what he was thinking.

‘Where will we dance?’ he suddenly asked.

‘Anywhere you want, in a deserted alley, in the middle of the street, in an empty restaurant…’

‘We dance…’ he said as if checking if we were really talking about a dance.

‘We dance…’

‘And then…I kiss you.’


‘And then? What will you tell me after our goodbye kiss?’

‘I won’t be able to speak then, I’ll probably even cry. But I’ll want to say that you are unique, beautiful in every way possible and that if one day life will turn her back on you (as she always turns her back on all of us sooner or later), you’ll always have a friend to turn to. I’m not talking about sex. I learned that the worse thing in life is when you realize you’re all alone, when you need help and you find yourself standing alone no matter how many friends you used to have. I don’t want you to ever go through that so remember this, for all your days to come and for all your life is worth. I will be there if it ever comes to that.’

‘I don’t understand. Is this what all women want? Is this…I don’t…’ His face changed. He was worried, he was panicked, he was…

‘Finally, something you don’t understand. But you will, all you have to do is remember my words as I won’t be able to say them to you then, remember my tears. Will you remember?’

‘Yes,’ he said grimly.

‘You swear it?’

‘I swear though I still do not understand.’


‘So?’ I said.

‘So what?’ His voice was sad now as if it were the end of a play.

‘Will you offer me that dance?’ I asked.


24 November 2015

A celebrity’s worst nightmare!

We all love celebrities, let’s face it. We admire them and we once in a while imagine ourselves with one of them. Women imagine what it would be like to be married to Charlie Hunnam while men imagine what it would be like to be in Scarlett Johansson.

But there are some limits to be considered and I am afraid fans can go to extremes when it comes to celebrities.

So just to show you how crazy it can get. Here are my top ten…not mine…just the  top 10 scary shit that fasn can do that will freak the shit out of celebrities.

Let me be clear on this. I have not tried any..…all of them…just a few..


1.    Compare your height with the man or woman of your dreams on:

Not…that…I…ever did that. Cause it’s important to know that IF I come across my celebrity I would like him to be taller…it just looks good when we…marry.


Chris Hemsworth Height

Chris Hemsworth is 6' 3" or 1m91 tall.

How tall is Chris Hemsworth compared to you?
Set your height below and find out!

Chris Hemsworth

2.    Being happy when a celebrity couple breaks up. I never understood how this works but sometimes it feels good to know that a certain celebrity is single again, right? Who knows we might cross path one day…somewhere..in a parallel universe…or a fantasy world…


3.    Imagining the babies you will get. Yup, think of how your babies will look like with the celebrity of your dreams. I mean think of how cute Theo James’ kids will look with that perfect tan and dark hair? Oh my God so cute! And we gotta think of their names too!


4.    Wonder if his or her parents would like you. Yes, yes this also can happen. Trying to get on the good side of the parents to get to your celebrity.


5.    Check out how your name will match his last name and wonder if it’s a good fit. Otherwise…not sure if it’s worth the trouble…


6.    Think you are meant to be because the celebrity you like, likes stuff like ‘pasta’ and ‘dogs’. Oh my God we have so much in common!


7.    Sex dreams…moving on…


8.    Post stupid shit on their Facebook pages like you have been friends for like foreva!


9.    Believe that if your celebrity will just take one look at you, you might actually have a chance.


10. Wonder where you are going to live once you are together. A celebrity’s life is just so chaotic, does it fit in my small, tiny, pathetic schedule?

29 October 2015

Halloween in Romania

How to spend your Halloween in a country where superstitions and churches still play a very important role? A country where people aren’t very keen on black cats and some actually still believe in vampires (not the cats but the people)? You’d think that Dracula’s birth country just can’t wait for Halloween to come but…you can’t take that for granted…

Well, it ain’t the US or the Netherlands (thank God, have you read my experience then? Check it out First Halloween in Holland ) But here are 5 steps on how to spend your Halloween in Romania.

1. Bitch fight. Get ready, set, go! Get your Halloween candy and decorations on the first day they get in stores. And I mean that very day. This year it was the 22nd of October and I went to the Lidl where they had a big variety of Halloween stuff (they should pay me for this). I thought hey, the store opens at 08.00, if I get there at 08.30 I am pretty sure I will find everything I need…I never expected at that hour, to find a bunch of grannies and grandpa’s pushing each other to get to the Halloween costumes and decorations. I just thought, ‘what the fuck is happening here?’ 

2. Scary noises. Beware of your own decorations. If you buy stuff that make noises out of the blue…be prepared to get scared a few times a day when it goes off for no good reason…funny, it  wasn’t even made in Romania.

3. Intoxication. If you like crafting then make your own decorations. At least it’s safe and noise...free. But you need wine to go with that and a lot of concentration…after a while you will realize ‘you are too drunk for this shit!’

4. Halloween deco? Be careful. Some things are part of Halloween, others are not. The broken buildings you see in the old city center are not just for Halloween, they will still be there the day after. The big fat spider you just saw in my balcony is not fake…it’s real and it will scare your sorry ass. The eerie sounds in the subway? Those stay eerie all year long. I mean did you even notice the look on my grandma’s cat at the beginning of this article (I got that look when I only fed the dog)…if looks could kill, damn!

5. Trick or Treat. Having in mind that you bought way too much candy and nobody actually comes here for trick or treating, sit down in your own witchy suit and eat all the fucking candy till you drop. Then hit the city (surprisingly everything is decorated in Halloween style) and get drunk like fuck!

So key words for spending your Halloween in Romania are: drinking, freaky costumes, scary faces, deteriorated buildings and clubbing…sounds like a regular weekend in Bucharest to me!
 Happy Halloween everyone!