26 August 2011

Madness

'Sorry if we kept you waiting.'

'No problem'

'Now, I see they gave us one of their more colorful rooms, that's nice. Would you like some tea or something else?'

'No, thank you.'
'I see you chose the purple chair from all the colors in this room. Any particular reason?'
'Not really.'
'Or does it have to do with the fact that it's against the wall? Now we're sitting here before you as if we were in an interogation room but you know that's not really the case, right?'

'Yes.'
'Do you know why you are here?'
'I guess.'

.....
'Well?'

'To get cured?'

'Cured from what?'

'My madness.'

'Madness is kind of exagerated, don't you think?'

'It depends.'

'On what?'

'On what others call it. I wouldn't have been mad if everyone else thought the same.'

'Interesting point of view. But let's talk about your moments, let's call it that, ok?'

....

'Why do you have those moments?'

'Everyone has them I suppose.'

'But for what reason do you have them?'

'Do I have to have a reason?'

'Why else would you feel so upset and angry? There must be a reason.'
....

'What irritates you sometimes?'

'Reality.'

'What do you mean?'

'Life, people, that things are what they are.'

'Why does it irritate you?'

'It doesn't go beyond, it stops. It has limits, boundaries. It's...real.'

'But we need reality, don't we? We need to know that some things are the way they are, that we can count on them.'

'Yes but everything is...like this room...it doesn't go beyond.'

'How do you want it to go beyond?'

'Become something more, change...'

....

'What are your fears?'

'That one day I'll stop dreaming.'

'You like having dreams?'

'Yes, very much.'

'Ah yes I can imagine that. I remember when I was a child I wanted to become a pilot'

'That's not a dream.'

'Not?'

'No, it's something real and the posibility of becoming that is also real.'

'Would it have been different if I said I wanted to become a fairy?'

'Yes, it would have been very silly but it would at least have been a dream.'

'What do you dream of?'

'Many things, beautiful things, things I can't explain.'

'Could you try?'

'You have to see it for yourself.'

.....
'So when do you feel sad?'

'The moment I wake up.'
'You can't dream forever.'
'Says who?'

.....
'And when you wake up, can't you enjoy the sunny weather, the blue sky, a curious puppy?'
'Not after what I've seen in my dreams'.

'Let me conclude this, you experience moments of sadness, depression and anxiety because you are not asleep?'

'Sleeping and dreaming are two different things.'
'Do you mean you...'

'I sometimes dream and am not asleep.'
'Daydreaming?'
'Something like that, only they feel real...'

....
'Ha funny, dreams feel real, reality is too boring but I'm happy when dreams become real. Isn't it funny?'
....
'Don't you think you should accept reality, things the way they are, enjoy the little things in life and let the dreaming go?'

'How can I let dreams go? Without dreaming I will be nothing, feel as a nothing and then I might as well end it all.'

'Do you ever think of ending it all?'

'All the time. I wonder how it will go and where I'll be after that. I know I will be somewhere but I can't wait to find out where.'
'Heaven?'

'It has nothing to do with heaven.
'Hell?'

'I don''t believe in hell after I've seen what's here on Earth. What can possibly be worse than this? Forever being burned? It's like candy compared to the horrors we as humanity have caused to ourselves.'

'You are a very poetic person aren't you?'

'No.'

'This is the deal, I will be very honest with you. I don't think your...madness as you call it is as bad as you think. You just live in dreams instead of reality. That is something that every one of us has once in a while. You just need to wake up, open your eyes, realize that life isn't about goblins and knights and be here with everyone else, be rational. Dreams are like air, they don't exist and don't get you anywhere, eventually you will wake up dreaming as your whole life passes you by and you won't even have had the chance to truly enjoy life and the ones around you who by the way are so very real.'

'Real...Wake up? Who says I'm dreaming and this is the reality we live in?'

'Everyone else, besides you. And to back that up, no one knows what you dreamed of last night so it's only something that happened in your mind.'

'How do you know?'

'Excuse me?'

'How do you know that no one knows?'

'Did you find someone that did?'

'I didn't search.'

'But putting it all aside, you must understand what I am talking about? You can't cross the street thinking you're in a medieval village while a bus is about to run you over. You have to go to work every day to make a living, you can't dream of eating, drinking and resting. With only dreams you will be dead.'

'And without?'

'Healthy.'

'So what you are saying is that I need to give up my dreams in order to become healthy?'

'Exactly.'

'Then I'd rather be dead.'

'Then there is nothing else for me to do than to welcome you in our institution. I hope you will have a pleasant stay and I am looking forward to our many conversations yet to come.'

....

'Sorry? Excuse me? Did you just hear what I said?'

...

'Excuse me? Are you...hearing what I am saying?'

....

'Oh...pardon me...I was with my mind...elsewhere...'

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