31 December 2011

Tonight's the night

Few more hours 'till we hit that 2012...

and as every year we wish the next year will be better or at least problems-free, we wish for love, health, success and happiness. After all, wishing for it doesn't cost a thing.

This year I wish that all of your wishes will come true and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

And having in mind that I can't end this in a decent, normal way, I'll only add this:

According to the Maya predictions, in 2012, we are all GOING TO DIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

So drink 'till you drop, eat 'till you explode, dance 'till your feet bleed, and laugh your ass off  'cause hey, this will be our last year on Earth. And if not then at the end of 2012 we can all wish for the same things ;)

But really, have a great time tonight no matter what and a Happy Deadly New Year!

17 December 2011

Here's the season to be Jolly

Sorry I haven't written anything recently but I've been so busy...and now that I mention it I wonder what has been keeping me busy. In fact if I think about the last past weeks- BUSY weeks I actually haven't been doing shit. It's always interesting to realize how we make our lives very busy with nothing but air and 'important issues'. I have been studying for my English course so that's something and I had my exam on Friday so that kept me busy but besides that I have to say I have no idea what's been keeping me busy. I start wondering about it and I realize I have been wasting a lot of time on doing...squat. Well...I have been doing some important things as well, something they call: a little X-mas shopping.

I love X-mas shopping because we can actually buy presents months before but we always go last minute when all shops are filled with creatures and the waiting lines are longer than in Heaven (or Hell). I myself am one of those people who realizes in the last minute that she hasn't bought all her X-mas shoppings yet. So I go in the city all cheery listening to some X-mas music and 'shaking it up' like in the Coke commercial. Then I get there and hell breaks loooosssseeee.

Does anyone remember that MTV show with the boiling points? Well that's exactly what happens only in reality you don't get any money for being close to a nervous breakdown. It starts like this:

1. Entering shop with hopes and dreams
2. Realizing I wasn't actually sure what I was about to buy
3. Walking around the shop to find a suitable present
4. Too many people in the shop sharing the same goal
5. Finally getting a present
6. Standing in line
7. Waiting in line
8. Looking at my watch
9. They put a newbie at the cashregister and she's now stuck
10. Watching newbie ask for help
11. Watching newbie explain the situation
12. Watching...oh fuck it I am getting sick of this even as I type it down.

Anyhoe, you get the message. Then I still have to go through step 1-12 for a couple of more times. Finally getting them all with 99 boiling points. Waiting for the bus that comes very late and is also very full: 100 boiling points! I finally get home and think 'if I here one more fucking shake it up song I will shoot, hang and behead Santa and I will skin his reindeers alive and have freaking kentucky fried reindeer tonight!' 

But what am I complaining about, X-mas is a time for sharing, exchanging presents and being generous and kind to one another. I shouldn't be so bitter, what is wrong with me? X-mas is not about spending money on gifts, decorations, cards, food and booze. It's about...oh wait I meant that X-mas IS about spending money on gifts bla bla bla.

Don't mind my sarcasm I am still planning on having a great alcoholic X-mas and New Year and I hope I won't be sober 'till 2012. In fact I think I will start at this very moment.

Merry X-mas everyone and a Happy New Year!

08 November 2011

The archangels Michael and Gabriel

Yep today in Romania we celebrate the name days of Michael and Gabriel. This means that everyone who has the name Michael or Gabriel has his or her Nameday today which means presents! In the Christian Orthodox religion we have several days per year in which saints, angels and archangels are celebrated like Saint John when yet again everyone with such a name has gotta get some presents. Ok you got me I am more interested in the presents part. But it's more than the presents it's...the attention ha ha.

When I got baptized you can imagine that I chose two religious names. My second name is Iuliana and my third name Gabriela! And it's even cooler when you have friends with this name or with the name of Michael cause then it's like we are 'angelicly' bonded.

But let us add some actual useful information here: Michael/Mihail is seen as a fighter while Gabriel/Gavriil is seen as a messenger. They protect humanity and watch over us. Well that's it. You want more information just read the Bible. I ain't no walking wikipedia ;)

So in conclusion: everyone who's named Michael or Gabriel...or both: Happy Nameday! And everyone else: get those M's and G's some presents, will ya?

30 October 2011

My first Halloween in Holland and it was terrifying!

I am not joking. Actually it was truly horror-like. First of all I have to say that I have never experienced Halloween in Holland. I've been in this country for like 15 years and never have I imagined that Dutch people take Halloween so...serious..

Let me explain it properly. A week ago we received a postcard in our mailbox with the picture of a spider. The writing mentioned the following:

'On the 29th of October we will be celebrating Halloween in Stevenshof (a part of Leiden). Parents and children will gather at 19.00 in the park and then we will start our Halloween parade. If you would like children to stop at your house for Trick or Treat then please hang his picture on the door or at sight.'

So I thought wow cool, never seen this before. I went to the supermarket and got me three big bags of candy ( 2 Haribo bags each contained 30 mini bags and a party bag with 40 mini bags or something). I tried to change my house in a Halloween style. And I do mention 'tried' as I only decorated it on the inside and not on the outside. But I liked it. And I was going to dress up as a witch holding a cauldron in which the candy was stored.

I was soo looking forward to it. So when the 29th came I awaited impatiently dressed as a witch with green hair but a friendly face for the kids to show up (I didn't want kids to think I was an actual witch cause then I'd be getting rotten eggs in return). It was 19.00 and I saw kids going in the park so it was going to happen any time now. It was 19.30, they were going to come any time now...or what if they'd miss me? Oh well then I'd just go outside and spread the joy.

And then it happened.

I saw a few kids running to the first door on my street. Few more went there and I heard music, there was like a marching band...wow that's nice. But then...more kids came running...and more...and more. They spotted me and they came running. It was cute...the first ones at least. They just held their palms open (no Trick or Treat, Thank you or anything like that) and I just handed out the candy. Then others came....more came...some became brutal and were taking the candy themselves from my cauldron so I snapped at them becoming a bitchy witch. Some got their candy and came again others just told me what candy they wanted...I ignored them all and looked at that first house and....more kids....and more running and screaming their parents following them like Igor followed Dracula and I looked at my candy and it was going fast and....there were more kids coming...I didn't have enough candy! My boyfriend helped but eventually ran in the house, my mom (who came to see the Halloween joy) never came outside the house. Oh my God my candy was gone! If there was no candy the kids would go for my blood!!!! I just took the damn postcard off my door, got in the house, slammed the door, switched off the lights and watched from behind my curtains. I heard that when I slammed the door a little girl was just running towards my house...imagine her disappointment, I hope she didn't take it too personal.

I watched in pure horror as more and more kids came and the other doors in my street just closed in despair not having enough candy. I thought there would be like 30,40 kids tonight but there were at least and I swear I am not exaggerating 300 kids! 300 kids! It was a candy massacre! Who thought of this? Yeah that's cool let's take 300 fucking kids to every house in this neighborhood, at least make groups or something.

Next year I need more candy I guess. Or I could just conveniently not be home.

Halloween in Holland, I should have known, if it's for free the Dutch community will suck the candy out of you 'till the last drop.

Happy Halloween everyone and DO NOT RUN OUT OF CANDY!

11 October 2011

Winter is coming

What better way to say it than using the old Stark saying. You don't know who the Starks are? Shame on you.

Winter is coming. Whether we like it or not. Summer passed in my opinion way too fast, it seemed a speeddate with the sun, its warmth is now just a memory on my skin. Now there is wind, rain and coldness and to think that is is just the beginning. Darkness takes over and the colors that once seemed so bright begin to fade away. But not everything is bad about the winter, think of the warm night you'll be sitting on your couch watching a scary movie with a cup of hot chocolate in your hands. You'll feel all cozy and comfortable and you'll think no way am I going out tonight.

So I guess winter is the more book & movie season when you can just relax in the weekends and remember that one day you'll go outside, smell the flowers, feel the grass and think 'man I've missed the summer.' Maybe that's the reason we have winters, so we can realize how much we love the summer, maybe that's why there is darkness so we can realized how much we need the light.

I hate the cold and the bad weather, christmas obligations and Santa's fake smile but we gotta find a way to enjoy it, look forward to it cause that's the only way you can survive. I'm not saying that if you stay in bed the whole winter, depressed and drunk you won't make it but then you'll have such a hangover in the summer that before you sober up, it'll be winter again.

Winter is coming...then...let it come.

18 September 2011

The beastslayer and I: the complete story

I hesitated doing this for a while as I wanted to get this story published one day but then I thought about it a little more and realized: what is more important, to get a story published or to have a story read by people? I guess for me it's important that people read this story and hopefully enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

So here it is, the complete story 'The Beastslayer and I' (check it out on the right side of this screen and be sure to turn the page for finding the rest of it as it didn't fit on one page...duh...)

I am curious about your comments and what you thought of the story.

03 September 2011

Why do you hate me?

Why do you hate me so?

You hate the way I look,
you hate the way I walk,
you hate the sound of my voice
against your fragile ear,

You hate the color of my eyes
as they touch your skin,
you hate my constant lavendel scent
as it seems I never leave.

Why do you hate me so?

The way I am and that I exist
I hope one day you will miss me so,
that even the lavendel scent will seem something your nose can reach no more

Why do you love me? I am not worth it.

02 September 2011

Game of Thrones, I should have known

Yes, I should have known that watching Game of Thrones (three times) would lead to a new story and I had the urge to share it with you.

Niteria is once again on board and this time she is going to have an interesting adventure with one of the Game of Thrones characters...I wonder which one..

26 August 2011


'Sorry if we kept you waiting.'

'No problem'

'Now, I see they gave us one of their more colorful rooms, that's nice. Would you like some tea or something else?'

'No, thank you.'
'I see you chose the purple chair from all the colors in this room. Any particular reason?'
'Not really.'
'Or does it have to do with the fact that it's against the wall? Now we're sitting here before you as if we were in an interogation room but you know that's not really the case, right?'

'Do you know why you are here?'
'I guess.'


'To get cured?'

'Cured from what?'

'My madness.'

'Madness is kind of exagerated, don't you think?'

'It depends.'

'On what?'

'On what others call it. I wouldn't have been mad if everyone else thought the same.'

'Interesting point of view. But let's talk about your moments, let's call it that, ok?'


'Why do you have those moments?'

'Everyone has them I suppose.'

'But for what reason do you have them?'

'Do I have to have a reason?'

'Why else would you feel so upset and angry? There must be a reason.'

'What irritates you sometimes?'


'What do you mean?'

'Life, people, that things are what they are.'

'Why does it irritate you?'

'It doesn't go beyond, it stops. It has limits, boundaries. It's...real.'

'But we need reality, don't we? We need to know that some things are the way they are, that we can count on them.'

'Yes but everything is...like this room...it doesn't go beyond.'

'How do you want it to go beyond?'

'Become something more, change...'


'What are your fears?'

'That one day I'll stop dreaming.'

'You like having dreams?'

'Yes, very much.'

'Ah yes I can imagine that. I remember when I was a child I wanted to become a pilot'

'That's not a dream.'


'No, it's something real and the posibility of becoming that is also real.'

'Would it have been different if I said I wanted to become a fairy?'

'Yes, it would have been very silly but it would at least have been a dream.'

'What do you dream of?'

'Many things, beautiful things, things I can't explain.'

'Could you try?'

'You have to see it for yourself.'

'So when do you feel sad?'

'The moment I wake up.'
'You can't dream forever.'
'Says who?'

'And when you wake up, can't you enjoy the sunny weather, the blue sky, a curious puppy?'
'Not after what I've seen in my dreams'.

'Let me conclude this, you experience moments of sadness, depression and anxiety because you are not asleep?'

'Sleeping and dreaming are two different things.'
'Do you mean you...'

'I sometimes dream and am not asleep.'
'Something like that, only they feel real...'

'Ha funny, dreams feel real, reality is too boring but I'm happy when dreams become real. Isn't it funny?'
'Don't you think you should accept reality, things the way they are, enjoy the little things in life and let the dreaming go?'

'How can I let dreams go? Without dreaming I will be nothing, feel as a nothing and then I might as well end it all.'

'Do you ever think of ending it all?'

'All the time. I wonder how it will go and where I'll be after that. I know I will be somewhere but I can't wait to find out where.'

'It has nothing to do with heaven.

'I don''t believe in hell after I've seen what's here on Earth. What can possibly be worse than this? Forever being burned? It's like candy compared to the horrors we as humanity have caused to ourselves.'

'You are a very poetic person aren't you?'


'This is the deal, I will be very honest with you. I don't think your...madness as you call it is as bad as you think. You just live in dreams instead of reality. That is something that every one of us has once in a while. You just need to wake up, open your eyes, realize that life isn't about goblins and knights and be here with everyone else, be rational. Dreams are like air, they don't exist and don't get you anywhere, eventually you will wake up dreaming as your whole life passes you by and you won't even have had the chance to truly enjoy life and the ones around you who by the way are so very real.'

'Real...Wake up? Who says I'm dreaming and this is the reality we live in?'

'Everyone else, besides you. And to back that up, no one knows what you dreamed of last night so it's only something that happened in your mind.'

'How do you know?'

'Excuse me?'

'How do you know that no one knows?'

'Did you find someone that did?'

'I didn't search.'

'But putting it all aside, you must understand what I am talking about? You can't cross the street thinking you're in a medieval village while a bus is about to run you over. You have to go to work every day to make a living, you can't dream of eating, drinking and resting. With only dreams you will be dead.'

'And without?'


'So what you are saying is that I need to give up my dreams in order to become healthy?'


'Then I'd rather be dead.'

'Then there is nothing else for me to do than to welcome you in our institution. I hope you will have a pleasant stay and I am looking forward to our many conversations yet to come.'


'Sorry? Excuse me? Did you just hear what I said?'


'Excuse me? Are you...hearing what I am saying?'


'Oh...pardon me...I was with my mind...elsewhere...'

23 August 2011

Honey Boyz confession

So, here I am, sitting relaxed in the hobby room, hearing the rain hit the window, nature feeding the plants and cooling the ground after a few warm...oh who am I kidding? I am having a fucked up day with rain all day long and I'm just sitting here at my desk because...well what else is there to do with such a fucked up weather? And so I decided I'll just update my Honey Boyz map...hmmm...

I'm not sure I should actually tell you this...I mean...some people might think less of me...but I guess it's too late now, so I might as well share it.

Ever since I was little...(not too little 'cause otherwise I wouldn't have been able to comprehend the meaning of such a map) I've been keeping a map called: Honey Boyz. This..folder contains all the men, young men or anything male that I might find Hot at that time. Over the years the Honey Boyz has been changed and updated. You would expect it to be this huge, thicker than the encyclopedia book but it actually looks pretty thin as the men I liked at one point I didn't like later on so I replaced them with others...

What can you expect from Honey Boyz? Well, it's a map filled with Hotties. Pictures only, no one wants to read or anything. And before you start thinking about this...or you probably just have, no, I don't keep them next, under or near my bed. It's just a map that I keep in a non sacred place and I look through it from time to time to see what kind of men I actually like or liked. PLUS: the main reason is of course, I use the actors as inspiration for the characters in my stories...so it's basically very....important for my...writing career. I never...think of these men...in a non...muse kinda way...Yeah, just so we have that clear.

Anyway I have no idea why I am putting this on my blog, think of the comments I'll get but hey what the hell, it's raining outside, everyone's depressed so I just thought I'd share something with you.

Honey Boyz contains (in order of appearance 1993 - now):

Brandon Lee (of course)
Kim Rossi Stuart
Cristian de la Fuente
Fabio Cannavaro
Raoul Bova
Tony Crane
Ian Somerhalder
Jensen Ackles
Chris Hemsworth
Kit Harington
Aidan Turner
and a couple more

19 August 2011

Question everything...everything?

Dear Madam, Sirs,

For centuries people have been questioning and arguing about all that's possible in our world: the existence of Gods, science, the meaning of life, time, poverty, communism, capitalism, ufo's, whether the world is flat, medicine, death etc. etc. etc.

Nowadays we still question some things like religion, health care and of course the meaning of life but some things we have just taken for granted such as time, days, months, work...

I would like to bring the following into account: why do we have 24 hours a day, why do we call night dark and day light, why do we have 12 months in a year and why do we keep our birthdays according to years? Why is it all taken for granted and no one thinks of a beter way to change this? Why do we all wear watches and we all agree on certain moments to meet up and judge each other according to how many moments one's late?

I would have not brought up this discussion if I didn't have a proposal.

This is how I believe it should work:

Minutes will still be 60 seconds (this way we don't have to change the name of a certain nailpolish)

An hour wil consist of 30 minutes.

A day will consist of 20 new hours, will begin at midday and it will end at midnight.

A week wil consist of 7 days. (so we won't change God's work) but because we want to honor God we would like to change the Sunday into 2 days because He actually needed to rest a little more than He actually thought. No one likes Mondays so there will be no more Mondays. Therefore:

Tuesday   Wednesday   Thursday   Friday   Saturday    Sunday1   Sunday 2

A month will consist of 12 weeks.

A year will consist of 4 months. We will change their names to:

Rainy, Freezy, Bloomy and Hottie

The new time and day have nothing to do with the old ones so don't try to prop 365 old days in the new ones. That won't work!

No more watches are allowed and therefore the words 'late' or 'early' are no more of use.

Birthdays will all take place alphabetibally. There will be days from A to Z spread all over the year. Everyone who's name begins with an A is on that day celebrated. There will be no more counting of years as one's age has nothing to do with the number of years (it has to do with its mind and spirit). Everyone is free on all birhtday days. Also Christmas, Easter etc etc are still free days.

This is my proposal regarding time and days.

As soon as this new proposal is accepted,which I expect will happen very soon, I would like to move on to my next proposal:


We will be working, 8 hours a day, 4 days a week and we will have one to two months vacation.

I believe this is a very reasonable proposal.

Yours faithfully,

Mrs. Hope

09 August 2011

Mai se poate in vacanta?

Si la asta ma gandesc in fiecare zi, de cate ori ma uit afara si vad vremea asta umeda, gri, ploioasa si atat de depresionanta! Si vant puternic si rece de-ti vine sa-ti lasi oasele si pielea acasa...ce expresie mai am si eu.

Deci ce naiba vara mai e si asta? 14,15 grade si ii mai vezi si pe unii cu papuci in picioare, ba chiar in weekend am vazut-o pe una in costum de baie si se ducea cu ai ei la plaja, ba da chiar nu esti sanatoasa sa faci asa ceva. Dar pentru ei saracii o fi fost vara.

Cand eram in Romania ziceam, cand ajung in Olanda o sa dreg si o sa fac si asta si asta, cand am ajuns aici si m-am uitat in jur, m-am pus pe canapea si acolo am ramas. Parca n-ai viata aici, n-ai chef sa faci ceva, sa strangi, sa te duci incolo si incolo poate din cauza faptului ca nimeni nu face asta in timp ce in Bucuresti lumea alearga de colo colo, ii auzi pe toti cum ca vor asta, alta etc. Bine am mai zis, nici la noi nu e bine ca e stresul mare si viata de trai joasa, adica e lume destula care moare de foame in timp ce aici nu prea ai asa ceva, doar drogati pe strada dar care si ei primesc ajutor de la stat. Si nu stiu ce-i mai bine stresul sau depresia? Viata stabila, rutina sau nebunia si agitatia? E greu mai ales ca nu poti alege una din tari fara sa ai si dezavantajele. Hai sa le punem pe linie (apropo asta e opinia mea ca sigur sunt multi care gandesc altfel deci: my words, my world)

Daca esti in Olanda sa te astepti la:
- monotonie
- raceala atat intre oameni cat si ca vreme
- individualism, fiecare cu treaba lui (ca sa nu o zic mai urat)
- liniste pe strada, adica nu magazine pana la 22.00, nu concerte in fiecare saptamana, nu nebunie pe la terase sau multa lume pe strada la ore mai tarzii.
- salarii stabila dar poti manca din ele adica nu mor de foame, guvernul ar face ceva daca ai ajunge la o situatie super naspa.
- nu poti face casa (doar cu imprumut care chiar iti face viata amara, exemplu: casa normala sau apartament 200.000 de euro, imprumut pt urmatorii 30 de ani...si platesti in final de fapt cam 500.000 de euro)
- tot pamantul Olandei drept, lipit, adica daca ma uit bine vad granita cu Germania (yes over here the world is flat!)
- toate fructele si legumele au gust de...apa.
- mancare traditioanala ca la spital (cartofi fierti, carne prajita sau fiarta, legume fierte)...daca nu esti creativ. Sunt si produse ca sa-ti faci mancare Chinezeasca, Japoneza sau ce-oi vrea tu.
- nu au eclere! Prajiturile au toate gustul la fel oricat de diferite sau colorate par. Stroopwafels sunt singurele avantaje.
- depresie totala
- doctorii...mai bine sa nu te duci pt. ca mori cu zilele, de la cati nu am auzit, in jurul meu ca ori au avut pe cineva in familie care a murit din cauza la o operatie care a dat gres, ori ca au primit medicamente gresite ani de zile, ori ca nu vazusera nimic pana in ultimul moment...e socant, nici in Romania nu e iar, stiu, dar aici e chiar socant.

Daca alegi Romania:
- nesiguranta, adica sunt multi nenorociti care nu stii cum se trezesc si o patesti chiar si in ziua plina
- salarii mici si guvernul nu-l freaca daca iti ajunge sa iei o paine sau nu
- stres zi de zi, alergus si nebunie peste tot
- vremea frumoasa vara dar poate fi foarte rea iarna
- caldura intre oameni, chiar daca sunt ei acolo putini si aia ajung
- nebunie pe strada, lumea iese impreuna, magazine deschise cat vrei tu, e de viata
- mare si munte, bogatii minerale, plante medicinale
- fructe si legume sanatoase daca iei de la tara si mai ai pe cineva pe acolo sau cumperi la piata poti sa gasesti ce vrei tu.
- au eclere! si prajiturile sunt bune, amandine...aoleu stati sa ma sterg la gura
- mentalitatea oamenilor, cum sa te fure mai repede, cum sa-ti vanda un cacat sau sa te treaga in teapa, toata lumea vrea bani, multe fufe materialiste (dar e un rezultat logic din cate a patit tara) si multi barbati betivi.
- traditiile, cultura si istoria atat de bogata

Nu sunteti de acord? Asta e, asa le vad eu. Daca vreti sa ma convingeti altfel, n-aveti de cat, feel free!

Road Trip Transilvania

Oh yes, the best part of the holiday is when you come back...that's when you look around and realize it's much too cold over here, much too quiet and much too different. But oh well, every holiday must come to an end no matter how much it might hurt. So instead of thinking too much about it I try to remember the good times I had this holiday and remember that I will go back soon (Christmas).

One of the best times of this holiday was the four day trip we took. We decided we wanted to see more of Romania instead of Bucharest (a city I never grow tired of) so we decided we'd go on a trip through the Carpathians. And this is how it went:

Day 1: From Bucharest to Sibiu

We left Bucharest early in the morning so we'd avoid the traffic. You should have seen my face that early in the morning. I could have made a picture of myself and use it for Halloween.
Curtea de Arges: our first stop where a beautiful church is situated, not to mention its legend about the man that decided his wife would be the ultimate sacrafice to keep the church standing. I ain't gonna tell you the whole story just read the damn legend.

Poenari Castle: merely a ruin but it used to be a great building in the 14th century not to mention that it was one of Vlad Tepes' main fortresses. The funny part about it: it is situated up in the mountainds so you have to go up the stairs to visit it...up...up...for about 1500 stairs!!! After climbing those stairs I remembered: I really have to do something about my condition.

Barajul Vidraru: just google it if you want to know how it looks like. It looked cool especially because it was here where our Top Gear adventure would begin. We ate some corn (I love Corn) and moved on.

Balea Lac: gorgeous place and it can only be visited two months a year as for the rest of the year it's too dangerous. We came from a temperature of 30 degrees to 14 degrees as here it was freezing, there was even snow at sight. We ate in a small restaurant, bought me Amethist, admired the flock of sheep everywhere and wondered how they didn't fall the hell off those high places and...went on.

Transfagarasan: It's impossible to drive through this place and not to thing of Top Gear (check out youtube, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLxP_VHe0gg&feature=related) and hear Jeremy's words 'Romania thank you for having us and can we stay, forever?' It was beautiful and absolutely amazing.

Cisnadioara: Here we found a small church with a huge history.

Sibiu: I've seen it before but it always feels great when I'm there. We ate, relaxed in a beautiful hotel and enjoyed the sweet weather.

Day 2: From Sibiu to Cluj

We left early as we had a long trip ahead. We were about to stop in Alba-Iulia but with some misunderstandig we missed our exit so we continued our drive.

Cluj-Napoca: some beautiful monuments envolving Matei Corvin, a cute market place but then hell broke lose when it started to rain. We found a cozy Jazz cafe and we didn't want to leave it anymore.
Later we decided to visit the city at night and we were amazed. No normal people on the streets! I mean beside from us we were expecting no other freaks but...strange...strage city with freaky people and odd places. It really gave me the fucking creeps. So for Cluj...the pictures on google.nl looked much beter.

Day 3: From Cluj to Brasov

We left the fucking place as soon as we got up.

Targu Mures: beautiful little place. It looked much cozier than Cluj although the weather decided to get kinda grey.

A smart girl like me would never do something like this, but yes I did: by mistake I erased all the pictures we had made until now, all 400 pictures with beautiful video's on transfagarasan...You can imagine how moody I became.

Sighisoara: one of my favorite places in Romania. I need say no more.

Biertan: a place I had never heard of in my life, close to Sighisoara, a small village away from the busy world. We ate at a great medieval restaurant...the only restaurant in town but so much worth it and then we visited the fortified church. I sat there listening to the wind, closed my eyes and wished that moment would last forever. I felt home.

Brasov: another city that needs no introduction. We ate, we laughed, we drank and danced at the Ursus Concert.

Day 4: Brasov to Bucharest

We got up at a reasonable time but none of us wanted to actually go back because that also meant the end of our road trip.

Damboviciora Cave: first cave I've ever seen in my life but I can't say I was very impressed. Perhaps it was the surrounding that made it less attractive, too touristic and poorly maintained.

Well tired and sick of the journey we got back in Bucharest. We already made plans for our next trip, next year, to Moldova. Oh how I miss you already my sweet, dusty but warm Romania!

14 July 2011

Snagov baby

Why haven't I been writing in the last week? Because I'm on vacation! Ha ha I just wanted to repeat that cause man it feels good to be home.

Bon Jovi rocked our world on Sunday evening and he played three hours. I loved it and man he still has a great voice and Richie still has his bad boy look. Thank you Bon Jovi for a great show!

What have I been doing this week? Well went to different places in the sun, chilled, drank, laughed and visited all kinds of new pubs but yesterday...yesterday was somethin' special. We decided we should do something than just hang around this week so we thought of a one day trip! Very good...where to? How about Snagov? That's where the legendary monastery of Snagov is situated and it is said that Vlad Tepes's head is buried there. Worth a shot. Because we don't have a car we could take the public transportation and we looked it up on the net and it was only 30 min drive from Bucharest. Cool! Let the fun begin.

Did I tell you that it's freakin hot over here? Like 40 degrees? So we decided to leave at like 10.00 so we can be there on time and avoid all the heat. And so we did. We got on our little bus to Snagov, which would take 30 min and in 30 min we were in the city called Snagov. But...where is the Monastery? We asked a guy on the bus and he said we could get out at the next stop and ask there. No problem let's do that...until we got out of the bus and landed in freakn' no man land! No people on the streets, here and there a poor creature crawling in the heat of the sun...a couple of cars...no taxis...a dog...no shops...we found a postoffice and they told us ' well you got out too quick, you need to get another bus and go to the next village and over there you can change buses to get to your destination.'  Hmmm ok, we thought, no problem we'll take the next bus..we went to the bus stop and waited like...10,20,30, 35 min! and it was soooooo hooooot. But we got on the bus and asked the busdriver to stop at the right busstop. And we did...only then did someone shout out ' the bus to the Monastery will leave at 13.15'  and our clocks showed 11.45. There was a shop so we did get some drinks and some dry pretzels.

But now it comes, we thought ' hey, we're no idiots let's hitchhike our way to the monastery. And after few miserable attempts we got in a car with a man who had too many crosses hanged over his car front mirror. But who cared, it was like 12.30 and we were already on our way to the Monastery. Then he stopped at a...next village and said ' this is where  i need to be'  I asked him which way to the Monastery.  He said '  straight ahead and the first road to the left'. It sounds easy...close...reachable? I don't fucking think sooo! We walked in the heat for like half an hour and no freakin road to the Monastery. We walked, walked, walked and walked some more, passed a long road with treers, passed a forest, passed some cops and then we ended in a very strange village where a woman said ' the monastery? oh you've got a long way to go.'  And then we found an old man sitting on a bench waiting for losers like us to show up and he said 'i don't even want to say it...but...you walked too far. you need to go back, out of this village, pass the forest and then the first road to the right.'  A woman asked us where too, we said the monastery, she said ' I'll go with you.'  We were very happy until she added 'on foot' . Fuck you lady!

We went back....back....back...passed the village, past the forest, came across the cops. They even said 'hey,weren't you walking by like an hour ago?'  We asked for instructions ' one said, of course, you go left to the gasstation...wait' he looked behind us ' where is your car?'  ' we don't have a car!' ' Oh'  Anyhoe the cops were very sweet, they even wanted to bring us as soon as they were finished doing whatever they were doing (that would have been cool, us in a policecar). Anyway we got new instructions, a lot of ' good luck'  and then off we were again...A friend of mine called her boyfriend to direct us using his google maps...can you believe it? But...that actually worked and after half an hour more we got to a shop where we found waaateerrr! and then we walked 20 min more to get to the Monastery. And we needed to do it fast. It was 14.35. The next bus back to Bucharest left at 15.30 and the next at 19.00 so we needed to get the one at 15.30. So we got to the Monastery, saw the whole thing in like 5 min because we had no time, got back to the busstation all sweaty, dusty and fucked up and we thanked the gods when we were in the bus back to Bucharest. The beautiful part was that this bus went straight to Bucharest and so we could have taken this one in the morning straight to this place and we would have been done in like half a day.

So this was our day trip to Snagov, we came home with sunburns, painful feet and very very exhausted. So my advice to you: get a car, if not, don't hitchhike, if not, just don't go, stay in the city, go to the movies and see Hangover 2 with a lot of popcorn and coke, trust me, it's much much beter.

ps: sorry for the spellingmistakes, I'm not going to reread the story cause...I'm on holiday and I don't feel like it...

10 July 2011


The reason I haven't been writing anything lately is because I was sick for like a week or so. Horrible sickness, I hate it more than anything in the world I was all fluy and stuff and I was really freaked out about it because I was also going on vacation on Friday. But I made it! So now I am home, in Bucharest where secrets are hidden in every corner of the street and beauty can be found by looking closer. It's 35 degrees so what else is there to do than enjoy it all and clear the mind.

Tonight Bon Jovi is having a concert so I can't miss that. I will be there jumping, shouting, singing along and then tomorrow I'll feel like shit cause I am actually still sick but I don't give a damn anymore.

The next weeks I want to go to the mountains, to the beach, enjoy myself and forget about everything, cause after all, what's a holiday without forgeting about all your worries and problems? I want to enjoy my family and friends, listen to everything that has happened in the last six months and of course, drink and eat the shit out of me!

I will keep you informed about any crazy shit that might happen the next weeks cause I want you to enjoy it with me.

24 June 2011

Why this fascination with vampires?

Someone who's rereading Dracula...asked me why this fascination with vampires? I could write a full (and endless essay about it) but maybe I could try it this way.

Yesterday...it seems such a long time ago. I think about it and don't understand why today can't be like yesterday. The sun is rising just like yesterday, people are going to work, the world goes on just like yesterday but to me the world has stopped moving. The world is gone, it's missing. I feel like I'm gone, like I don't belong, like a mistake. And I only have myself to blame for it.

I guess it all started with my childish fascination for a creature that has always taken my breath away. Strigoi, kitsune, lamia,vetalas, draugr,  it has a name and shape in every language, in every corner of the world but it is mostly known as vampire. So many people feared it, the sickening characteristics of a living corpse that comes at night and sucks the blood out of the living in order to make itself feel better. The grotesque features of its face and body: long sharp nails, his breath that smells like rotten flesh, his pale face, horrifying eyes, its yellow sharp fangs as it punctures your veins and takes your blood by force, draining you night after night until the very last drop. At least that's how it was described in the early years. This creature disgusted me and yet my fascination grew. I read about how vampires can be killed with garlic, ash wood, verbena, sunlight and even crosses. I read about real reports such as the case of Peter Plogojowitz and Mercy Brown. I wondered how many cases were in the world similar to this one...

Then I started reading Bram Stoker, Anne Rice, Polidori and poems by Keats, Poe and so many more. The grotesque features were no longer present. In some stories vampires could not even be destroyed with simple objects anymore. In my mind another image of the vampire was created, a man of absolute beauty with eyes cold as death and a cursed soul. But that man was seductive, extremely attractive, handsome and yet smooth in his way of life, knowing he could get anything and anyone with merely a stare. A man who lived forever and knew and witnessed every part of life, a man that read all the books in the world, had seen everything that is to be seen, loved as much as love could handle and killed whenever he felt like it. And the killings...the victims threw themselves at his feet handing him their lives on a plate. He killed and he was loved. And if I ever met him I would have probably done the exact same thing.

With this my search continued in the world we live in now, the games of Vampire the Masquerade and the times the game got out of hand (the boy that believed he was a vampire and killed his girlfriend's parents), the secret societies of people believing they are vampires and living up to their believes.

The question that I feared and tried to fight in my mind found its way through my mouth and I woke up one night asking myself 'what if they really exist?'

This is were things went wrong. I should have let it go. It was a hobby, a strange one but still a hobby. All I ever did was read about it and search for strange stories but now I wanted to know if they really existed. And the worse part of it all, I wanted to know how to become one. Me? A vampire. Seductive, strong, live forever, see everything that is ever to be seen, combine passion and death and take whatever I need to become something indestructible. Be something against this world, against reality, prove that there is more to life and that all the stories and everything I have ever only dared imagine can become true. Show people, who only believe in what they see that there is another world out there and that that world is the reality they should know about. Look in the eyes of someone who cannot comprehend why I suddenly have fangs and why I am acting so different than anyone else. See the fear in people's eyes and enjoy it, see the love in any man I want and laugh at its temporary effect. I could become everything I have ever wished for and I could live forever.

The next step was to dig deeper in the history of vampires. I already knew the myths of how to become a vampire: by drinking a vampire's blood before you die, by letting a vampire bite you or you drinking someone else's blood. I already knew that but I wanted to know what others thought about it, people that took the supernatural world a little more serious. I discovered many things by looking into witchcraft, demonology, Satanism and looking into the secret societies that existed such as alchemists, illuminists...

and then I found them. Closer then I ever expected.

My background is Romanian so why didn't I think of it in the first place? I had read about Vlad Tepes and Elizabeth Bathony many times as I tried to understand their passion for blood. One of them I understood and that was Vlad Tepes. I admired him for being one of the most feared and respected leaders. Elizabeth was just a cruel, coldhearted creature with no plans for the future. Vlad Tepes was smart and he loved strategy. I read about the Order of the Dragon and that's when I realized I missed something, the Solomanari: the secret society of mages that worked together with the Order. Rumors had it they had a secret hideout in Romania. They knew everything that was there to know about magic and enchantments. Wouldn't they know if vampires existed?

I found a forum where people asked about the Solomanari and I decided I should do the same. My question was 'how do I find them and how can I trade something valuable for some information?' The next day someone called 'solomanar456'. He said 'what are you trading?' I answered 'my soul'. I heard nothing for days and I started mocking myself for writing such a stupid remark on a website page. I thought by being dark I might catch someone's attention. After six days I had a message in my private mail and wondered how that person knew my e-mail. It said 'what kind of information do you need?' I asked about vampires and I received an affirmative answer which was no surprise as any vampire freak believed they existed. I asked how to become one. The answer was very strange. It said

 'you just did.'.

That was yesterday. Today is different. Today I...

21 June 2011

When you're strange

'When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
No one remembers your name
When you're strange
When you're strange
When you're strange'

I don't know why, but I woke up singing this song. I first heard it watching the movie 'The Lost Boys'. I don't think most people know it anymore having in mind it's from 1987 and kind of a strange movie but hey I like it.

And then I started thinking of the lyrics because...well I had nothing to do on this glorious Tuesday morning but to think about it on my way to the supermarket. They played this song in one of the first scenes of the movie while the main characters drove in 'Santa Carla' and all kind of 'strange' people were shown.

But I thought of the lyrics and wondered if what The Doors are saying is true (beside the fact that the song might be about depression, bad LSD trip and nervousness...so I have read...feel free to convince me otherwise). I mean when you're strange no one remembers your name? I thought it was the other way around. Look at Lady Gaga, anyone who doesn't know her? Being strange is what makes the cut these days. If you stand out, do funny things or shocking things or even act like an asshole then the tv world will find you and before you know it you become a star. Being strange is what counts. But of course there is a difference between strange and stttraaaangeeee. I think I'm strange but I don't stand out. Sometimes people look at me on the street cause I have a weird look on my face (cause I daydream all the time and have no idea how my face actually looks like when I do that, don't worry I ain't the kind of person who talks to herself...outside the house) but I doubt any of them is thinking 'wow she should be on tv to show her act.' I have met some strange people in my life and those people were just f...lunatics. But I still remember their names!

I think that if you're strange, weird, crazy, whatever, people are more likely to remember your name. Think about work, how many times have I not heard things like 'remember Mr. Bug? What a weirdo that guy was. He used to stuck pencils in his ears.' or 'Rita was shocked during teambuilding as she had never seen a cow in her life.'

Anyway if I would have to choose between strange and normal...well I guess you all know the answer to that.

And googling info about the movie I just found out that Corey Haim (whom I admired when I was a teen), passed away in 2010 at the age of 38 and from the looks of it he didn't have much of a great life. What a shame. RIP.

'People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly when you're alone
Women seem wicked when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven when you're down'


14 June 2011

My birthday

Yes, this had to happen sooner or later...my birthday was on the 12th of June and I turned 29. This means I am only one year away from turning 30. Most women hate turning 30, I just...scream and choke at the though of it.

I liked the age increase thing untill I turned 18 but after that it's just a horrible torment. But I have to admit I had a nice birthday. We went to Archeon...for those who do not know it...and I suppose that's for the most of you, Archeon is a special historic middle ages park where you can witness jousting, gladiator fights, middle ages food and a bit of nature, http://www.archeon.nl/ (they should pay me for this). It's mostly for kids and for ladies who just turned 29.  I had a great day checking out the Viking market place, eating lentil soup, enjoying some jousting and admiring the two pigs working on a suntan.

After Archeon we went home for the birthday cake (I always need a birthday cake to blow out those candles and wish for something that never comes true like turning 18 instead of 29). And then we went to the movies and enjoyed Johnny Depp in his pirate costume (he still looks great).

So in spite of turning 29 I had a great day and felt like a 9 year old instead. I'm not sure how I'll celebrate my 30th birthday without the comments: '30 wow, your biological clock is probably ticking' or 'you look good...for your age' or '30? I thought you were 18...'. Oh wait, that last comment is more wishful thinking.

Last year I had a great birthday as well, we went to the beach in Romania and I spend my birhtday with the sun above me and the sand beneath me. My brother surprised me with cake and champagne at the restaurant in the evening and I enjoyed spending my birthday home with my brother (he lives in Romania and I only see him like twice a year). Not to mention that drinking on my birthday has become more of a tradition really...

But 30...next year...I have no idea how I'll pull THAT off.

01 June 2011

Don't go to the doctor

Yes, I have something to share: I have passed my English exam with a 7.9 thank you very much and I am very proud of it (I already celebrated with few shots of tequila...5 minutes ago). And my English teacher has created a special place on his blog with my writing so he's kinda my first PR Manager. Check it out and check his site too it has really cool stuff on it (see RCB site on your right).

I wanted to write a 'frustrated' article about doctors in Holland and what my mom has been through the last months. It's sooo stupid actually. She had nothing, just wanted her ear to get cleaned up so she went to the doctor and they perforated her eardrum by mistake! BUT no one wants to admit it so they pretended she had an infection and she got like 5 or 6 different shitty ear drop medicine to use and eventually they said 'oh wait, you have a hole in your ear so you shouldn't be using ear drops' . So now she probably has to go through an operation because she is practically half deaf but no one takes the blame. They gave her cheap medicine and only the last one was an antibiotic but too late. They just say 'you should take some paracetamol'. That's actually their Holy medicine, the great allmighty Paracetamol. Do you have pain? Take paracetamol, do you feel sick? take paracetamol. Do you have a bullet in your head? Oh my, that's terrible, here...take some paracetamol.

Don't get me wrong. Not all doctors in Holland are like that, only the 5,6 I have met. I mean now we found a good doctor for my mom's ear and he is trying his best to fix, I hope it's not too late. One time my mom told the doctor 'I have pain.' His reaction was 'Everybody has pain.' I mean what the hell is that for a reaction? Come on! If you ask for a scan, a check or whatever they ask you ten thousand things cause they don't want you to get it.

I don't wanna compare but in Romania if you go to a clinic you can get all the scans and antibiotics you want. That's because they have a lot of private clinics over there but I am sure time will change and it will be the same as here so... can't wait.

So take my advice: don't go to the doctor unless....well.....unless you need some paracetamol.

27 May 2011

Misery as inspiration?

I have been thinking about this the last couple of days. If I look at some of the best writers I know and I read about their personal lives, none of them have a 'my little pony' background.
Look at Edgar Allan Poe and his child-wife who crushed his heart when she died, Bram Stoker who had been in love with an actor who actually only loved himself, Lord Byron and his love affairs, Polidori and his Vampyre work, Mary Shelley, her and her husband's short lives, Shakespeare, the Bronte sisters and so many many more. If you read about their lives they seem to have had more pain than laughter. But then again you need misery, pain, heartbreaks to be able to write about them in detail right? If you want to move a reader you need to describe something in detail so that the reader that has also been through it, can say 'I know exactly how this feels' and the reader that has never been through it can say 'man, this is some heavy shit.'

My music teacher once told me that you can compose the most moving music when you are sad, depressed and hurt; when you are happy you have no care in the world. Look at Mozart's Don Giovanni and so many other componists, painters that make you cry only when you read about the 'misere' they had to go through.

But I guess we need all that crap in our lives. We need crap to be able to write about it and use it in our lives, music, writings, plays, you name it. If I had never been heartbroken I wouldn't have been able to write about a character that is going through the same thing, if I had never had the experience of total desperation wanting to scratch my brain out and eat it up I wouldn't have been able to write about a character that has reached her limits.

Then again...there is a fine line between misery and insanity...a fine line that I think I might have crossed a long time ago...Don't worry I haven't had such a miserable life (maybe that's the conclusion you have made). I am just a person like everyone else: completely and absolutely mentally insane.

09 May 2011

Happy happy happy, lucky lucky lucky

I had to use Charlie Sheen's sarcastic words from one of the 'Two and a half men' episodes, no idea which one it was.

I just found out that if I want to study English at the university it's gonna cost me like 5200 euro's a year. I mean come on people is this a study or a cruise to the Bahama's? A cruise probably costs less. So I have two choices: I either try the course in Amsterdam (I think that's still 1700 euro's a year, not cheap either mind I say) or I just do nothing about it and hope to be discovered in the next months as America's next top model...or Holland's...or Romania's...all I have to do is: not eat. Or maybe I can try one of those shows with popstars or so you think you can dance...all I have to do is: sing or dance. I can sing but not that great and dancing...well I can do that too in a club or something. Maybe that's the annoying part of it all, I like a lot of stuff so I am able to do a lot of stuff but not sufficient enough to go pro. Maybe I am very good at something I haven't discovered yet like marrying a really really rich and old man and then get his mo...Well, if I give it a second thought, I don't think I'm THAT good either.

Ok people new plan: I am going to be a...bug. Why not? I can be a bug. Some people believe they are cats or reptiles or whatever so I decided I can be a bug. But wait...I need to spend a lot of mo on plastic surgery to actually look like a bug...I wonder if it costs less than 5200 euro's?

I forgot to mention that a couple of months ago when I was looking for a job I came across a vacancy as...get ready for it: prostitute. Seriously and it was actually a real vacancy. I don't even know what to say. Imagine your job interview. Or your targets...What the hell do you write in your letter? 'Well, my motivation is that I like working with people, men and women, young and old and I am a very creative and social person. Hierby I send you my medical file.' 

Nevermind me I'm just in one of those moods...happy happy happy, lucky lucky lucky

26 April 2011

Easter. How was it and how has it become?

Of course I am only talking about my own experience because I wouldn't want to start a full essay about the development and change of Easter through the years without reading a great deal about it. Let me rephrase that: I don't feel like defending my story with facts so I'm just gonna write about my own shit.

In Romania we made a big deal about the coming of Easter. I was always excited because my mom would buy us chocolote bunnies and my dad would take us to a picnic in the forest. My mom and grandma would prepare the eggs and paint them in all the colors they could find: red, yellow, blue, green you name it. My brother and I would go to my grandma and stuff ourselves with food but not before we would do this: well this is a Romanian tradition (probably in other countries too but not in Holland I tell ya!): we would both chose one egg as our champion and then we would fight: one person holds the egg in his hand and the other hits it with his own egg, the one hitting says 'Jesus has risen (from the dead)' and the other person says 'He has indeed.' Well we didn't care about the words we just wanted to know who's egg was going to break. The one still standing was the winner and the one that had his egg broken had to eat it (although I have heard that others do this in another way: if you broke the other person's egg then you had to eat it). And do I even have to tell you what we woud do? We ate one, two, three eggs but then we were full so we would continue these 'tournaments' and simply put the broken eggs back in the basket we took them from. Or one of us would have one champion egg that was able to pull through the tournament and we would go to the rest of the family and challenge them to a new fight.

The religious tradition is going to church on Saturday and hold the candles (the enlightment). In Belgium they also do this by the way.

Well enough of how it was...how has it become? In Holland people don't really paint the eggs in the way they do in Romania. I mean here it's more for kids. I did hear that in Holland they buy chocolate eggs, hide them in the garden or where ever they can and then let the kids search for them. Pretty mean don't you think? But it's different here Easter isn't that much 'alive' as it is in Romania...ar at least how it used to be in Romania because I am sure that time changes over there as well.

We still paint the eggs even though we are in Holland and we still break them with the traditional words but it can't be compared to the warmth and excitement from the old days.

Ps: that doesn't mean that I now don't buy a big ass chocolate bunny and stuff myself with it!

19 April 2011

What can you expect from me in the next weeks

I have had a lot of 'crazy obsessions' since...ever. There was a time I was crazy about anything that had to do with Italian people, Harley Davidson, New Orleans, Amerian Indians, RPG games, Spells, Ghosts, The Crow (as in the movie), electric guitars, Chinese men (coming from my Brandon Lee obsession), Knights, Merlin and his magic, Freemansonry, Greek Mythology, Egyptian Mythology and magic, Weapons (swords and guns), Fairy tales, Creatures from all over the world, Vampires, Werewolves, Demons, The Apocalypse and last but not least...Northern mythology. I guess seeing the trailer for the movie Thor couldn't have had any other normal influence on me and that after I saw the 13th worrior...three times.

As all of my obsessions can be found in my stories one way or the other this is what you will be getting in the next weeks:

Beastslayer has returned: the Northern influence will be part of this story when Niteria ends up in front of a King who's son she knows better than she can remember.

The tale of the stars: is actually my first story ever written...and finished when I was about 12,13. It's about a star/a man that was thrown on Earth by his evil wife and has to find a way to get home. No, it's nothing like Stardust.

So my good men if you are interested then stay allert, if you ain't then why bother?

08 April 2011

I'm not perfect but you should have waited

Not my own words but the words of Jason Statham in the 'Expendables' but I thought it would be appropiate..this is my way of saying: sorry it took me so long to publish a new post. Now this brings us to why did it take so long...Well been here in there, in Rome and in London...sounds cool doesn't it...I wanted to make it sound cool but let me give you the details.

Been to Rome last week to surprise my best friend and it worked. She didn't know I was coming and her boyfriend kept the secret well hidden. We had a four day stay and it was great as it was warm and fun. I saw the things everyone sees like the Colosseum (kinda creepy to smile enthousiastically when you realized what they did to humans and animals over there), the Vatican (kinda the same as the Colosseum...without the animal part), foutains, museums and all the standard stuff but it was nice to see cause now I can say scrap them off my list. Did I mention I've been waiting 14 years to go to Italy? Weird isn't it? But then again it didn't look anything like in the movie 'Only you' with Marissa Tomei...some of you might know it, most of you won't.

And this week my boyfriend won tickets to London to see the Manchester-Chelsea match. I feel in love with London once again. Been there in november and loved it but now it was even more pretty. People are so kind, well mannered you just wanna kiss them all. The match was nice I guess..it wasn't very special and there was this guy screaming in my ear all the time 'fucking wanker...' See below for further explanation (source from wikipedia):

The term wanker originated from British slang in the 1940s. Wanker literally means "one who wanks (masturbates)". In modern usage it is usually a general insult

So this is why I haven't been writing cause I was busy travelling and it was worth it.

By the way my obsession for books has reached its limits. I was of course rabid to find a bookstore and buy as much as I can...buy cause I don't have money growing up my butt. And finally I found a Waterstones bookstore. Sooo many books on sales and so many stories to read that I actually....seriously...I actually got sick. I got dizzy so my boyfriend told me to take it easy. I got out of the store and sat outside for a while the gentle spring wind trying to keep me conscious. Did I really get so excited that I almost fainted? Well I gotta say I was kinda tired and we walked a lot but still...anyhoe. I went in again and got me a couple of books: Animal Farm, Brave New World, Vampire Diaries book 7, Torment (haven't read Fallen yet) and a collection of poems. So I am very very happy with my new purchase.

So this is kinda it, this weekend ain't gonna do much, study English, read books and play the Medieval Sims (my character got herself pregnant cause she is such a whore...and now I gotta create a baby room).

I will keep you posted darlings and won't keep you waiting...for long.

04 March 2011

What if you were a....

Our whole society is based on dreams we cannot reach. In my case I dream so often that I mostly don't know whether I'm awake or asleep. My dreams are made of two categories:

A. dreams that I cannot furfill and
B. dreams that I no way in hell can furfill.

To give you an example of A.: have a big house in Romania with a huge garden, with a chicken, a goose and shit like that. Example B: be a vampire, hired assassin, witch, werewolf and so on. The fun part of B. is that you can think of all its posibilities knowing it can never be but it's just fun thinking about it.

If I were a vampire, I don't even think of the blooddrinking, superpowers, sexy look but I actually think of the ability to compel others. Think of all the free shopping I could do, free food, free access to all clubs, high class parties, maybe even the Oscars...To hypnotize the whole world and carve it the way you like: be a star but never having problems with being a celebrity, be a king or queen but never have any responsibilities. I kinda like that and if I have to drink blood for it, hell I'll do it.

I am sure most of us have thought one way or another about being a superhero or villain; manipulate the world we live in and create our own sandbox with tools and toys we can rearrange the way we like. And when we're sick of playing we can just get out of the sandbox and we wouldn't even be bothered by the sand resting between our butt cheeks.

'A big man has no time really to do anything but just sit and be big.'

01 March 2011

Cum sarbatoresti Martisorul in strainatate

Cand eram in Romania imi aduc aminte ca eram asa fericita cand era Martisorul. Mai intai mergeam la cumparaturi cu mama ca sa iau martisoare la profesoare, prietene si familie si apoi ma uitam bine la ele si alegeam pe care sa o dau cui (depinde de ce profa era, favoritele primeau unele mai frumoase...). Si cand ieseam afara era un aer de primavara, de sfarsit de iarna, de soare si caldura si o pregatire subtila pentru venitul verii.

Si acum sunt in Olanda, nimeni nu stie ce e ala martisor plus ca afara zici ca e pregatirea iernii...Dar totusi sa nu lasam asta sa ne sta in cale, daca e Martisor, e Martisor nu conteaza unde esti. Si asa incep pregatirile mele:

08.00 Ma uit pe internet la adevarata semnificatie a Martisorului. Bineinteles ca stiu dar a trecut un an de cand nu m-am mai gandit la ceea ce simbolizeaza si e bine sa iti aduci aminte un pic.

08.05 Gasit legenda Soarelui.

09.45 Ma duc la cumparaturi sa iau sculele necesare.

09.47 Admir peisajul gri si ploios al Olandei

09.58 Caut ghiocel, una din cele mai importante simboluri ale Martisorului

10.15 Caut ghiocel

10.30 Caut ghiocel

10.45 Nu gasit al dracu ghiocel, astia nu stiu ce naiba e ghiocelu?

10.50 Cumparat fire de tricotat: 1 buc rosu si 1 buc alb

10.53 In drum spre casa era sa ma calce o baba cu bicicleta

10.55 Gasit ghiocel in fata unei case (in gradina persoanei respective)

10.56 Furat ghiocel si prefacut ca nu am facut nimic

10.57 Gasit inca doi ghiocei pe langa niste buruieni si i-am luat

10.58 Oare asa arata ghiocelu?

11.10 Ajuns acasa. Inceput invartirea firelor albe si rosii ca sa fac firele de martisor

11.35 Inceput al doilea fir de martisor

11.40 Durut mana, am decis sa scriu pe blog isprava mea

11.50 Suparata ca tre iar sa iau de la capat al doilea fir de martisor si mai am unu de facut

Pana in cinci reusesc eu sa termin firele si o surprind pe mama. Doamne sper ca stia sunt ghiocei...si daca nu sunt asta e, mai asemanator decat atat nu gasesc pe aici.

Si o sa port martisorul 9-12 zile asa cum spune pe internet si apoi o sa gasesc un pom inflorat ca sa imi leg martisorul in el si sa imi pun o dorinta....Pe dracu de-oi gasi eu un pom inflorat in urmatoarele saptamani...

Asadar urez tuturor un Martisor frumos si un dulce inceput de Primavara!

20 February 2011


So what about the Maya predictions and i believe Nostradamus as well?2012 the end of the world and do we really care or think about it? I have been thinking about it this weekend after reading the title of a book in a bookstore '2012 end of the world'. And now i wonder what if it is true? My plans for 2012 are merely a continuation of 2011: work, study, vacation...but what if our world will perish in 2012? The long awaited Ragnarok as the Norse mythology call it. Did you consider it? Do you know what you'll do?

It is a strange feeling that perhaps everything you know,have,see, everything you care about might take a different turn. I do wonder what if the building i live in will collapse and all of my things will burn to ashes, all my writing and memories. Walk on the street that now looks like a desert and realize the workd is changed forever and there is no going back to the way things were. My troubles will seem so pathetic and meaningless as now i would need to survive. My family gone trying to look for any survivors. Can you imagine how that would be like? I am sure of one thing:i would do anything in my power to go back to my hometown, to Bucharest and hope to find anyone i know. Then comes the question: why wait untill the end of the world? Why not go now to Romania if i miss it so much? I guess i need a world disaster to make up my mind.

Whay would you do if you would have the advantage of knowing that the end if the world will be on october the 5th 2012? What will matter and what not? How will it change your way of thinking?

15 February 2011

What's on my mind

Some lyrics I'd like to share with you, thanks to Sick Puppies with their song 'Maybe'

'Maybe I'm a dreamer
Maybe I'm misunderstood
Maybe you're not seeing the side of me you should
Maybe I'm crazy
Maybe I'm the only one
Maybe I'm just out of touch
Maybe I've just had enough'

13 February 2011


So i owe you people some update. You didn't have to mention it. I just felt it. So after watching some vampire diaries episodes and complain a little more about how much my f...ing mouth hurts from last thursday when they pulled a tooth out...after all that i decided to fill you in.

My...search is kinda still on. I am back at my old working place but for two days a week...i gotta make some money someway. And the new thing is that i am truly honestly considering to become an English teacher...i already hear the laughter...with your spelling neverrrrr. Well i can't become a teacher overnight....can i? I did put some thought into this not that you're gonna think it's one of her crazy ideas again. I went to an introduction day and got info about the education required, i went to a highschool and was present at an English lesson (that's what motivated me in the first place) and i am following an English course that i decided to take to actually improve my spelling and vocabulary for my stories but it is quite handy if i am to follow the education too.

But the education starts in august so i have plenty of time to think this through.

By the way i am using my phone to write all this shit so if i made mistakes...i'm too lazy to correct them...

Does anyone know what 'xoxo' means? Saw it on the vamp diaries serie and i didn't get it. I guess i'm just getting oooollld.

27 January 2011

I meet my doom

I don’t know how much longer I can survive. The point is that I can take it no longer. I have ran out of supply and there is food for one more day. I will have to eat as little as possible to keep me alive inside these caves. But then I think about it and ask myself what’s the point I will die anyway no matter if it is today or tomorrow or even after a week I have lost all my hopes and I am quite sure that no one will come to rescue me.

I can barely write due to the darkness and dust covering my eyes. I am so tired as I hardly sleep at night. Then again you cannot make the difference between night and day in this cursed place as these will be darkness wherever you may look. Yes, darkness forever.

All I can think about is the happy moment when I thought my expedition would be successful. I was so happy back then…I was a fool!

I do apologize again for my spelling mistakes or unfinished words. This in case someone will ever read this. I am tired, exhausted from so much darkness, my skin is probably white, just like the dead only that I can still move slowly. I have never believed in zombies and yet now I am one.

As for my companions I can still feel them around as the smell of the dead never fades. My wife died three days ago, if my calculations are right. She was bitten by a rat, a week ago. Oh all I can think of at this moment is why didn’t that doomed rat bite me instead. Nevertheless I wouldn’t have wanted my dear wife to be in the situation I am now. I wouldn’t want anyone to be in my place. Except for the ones that send me here.

I can’t bare much longer. I feel I am already decomposing…decomposing in memories unrealized goals and trusting the unworthy.

My whole expedition crew, if you might come across that question, is dead. I am the only survivor and the last to die.

If someone will read this I hope they will be out of any danger. I am doomed and my destiny is to die here.

Those who want to devote themselves to their work must make a sacrifice. The bigger the sacrifice the bigger the chance they will succeed. In my case the sacrifice is death.

I cannot see any longer what I am writing however I can feel what will happen to me in the next few hours or minutes, I don’t even know. I feel isolated, lonely, and already dead. Have I mentioned this before?

My life has come to its end…I can feel it all...it is getting dark…darker. Those that do not risk it all…will not die…at least….not too……..soon.

Forgive me Father!

       -         Forgive me for my sins

-          I am listening my child!

-          Father, I have committed too many sins.

-          We all do my child, the important thing is to be aware of them and ask for forgiveness from God.

-          Yes but I have committed too, too many of them.

-          Yes?

-          I…I have committed crimes.

-          What kind of crimes?

-          Serious crimes. I wanted his death for so long. Well, he finally got it.

-          You killed someone?

-          Then there was the daughter. So disgustingly innocent. She was not innocent!

-          Who did you kill?

-          Then the sister and of course her boyfriend. My God why did they had to come in on that particular moment?

-          What exactly happened?

-          As I exited there was the neighbour and his dog. Ha, dogs can’t protect them now can they? The wife came from the shopping centre in her pretty little red car.

-          Please child, tell me what happened!

-          That boy had to interfere. He saw the woman’s car parked in the middle of the street with no one in it. He didn’t know the woman was in the house, in the bathroom, oh God! He went in as he saw the door open and the blood, oh the blood, everywhere!

-          Now, don’t panic. Did you kill them?

-          Then the policeman had to give me a ticket. Couldn’t he see I was in despair? He couldn’t understand. I told him I wasn’t hurt, it wasn’t my own blood. He didn’t understand.

-          Maybe I can understand.

-          Then there was a man on the way here asking me if I’m alone. I hate men that hit on you. I just
-          Did you kill him too?

-          He didn’t see it coming. There was no one in sight, he didn’t expect it.

-          Where is he now?

-          Then there was the priest who didn’t let me tell my story…

20 January 2011

Might seem depressing but hope you like it

Why did God give me a heart,
when all it does is hurt?
It hurts so much I just don't know
how much I can keep it

Why did God give me these eyes?
To stare me back in the mirror?
All they see is rain,
grey clouds and terror

Why did God give me these ears?
So I can hear rumors about me?
I hear no birds singing, no child laughing
only whispers behind my back

Why did God give me these hands,
when what I want, I can't reach?
Their touch seems to turn just
about everything to shatter

Why did God make me at all?
So I can see this terrible world?
Why can't he just let me live
in my dreams?

19 January 2011

Wat is er allemaal te beleven?

Ok jullie zien natuurlijk een paar verhalen aan de rechte kant van mijn blog maar wat zijn het allemaal? Nou dat ga ik jullie nu vertellen:

1. Weerwolf moord: een politieagent moet een moord oplossen die door een weerwolf gepleegd is. Een probleem: hij is zelf een weerwolf en heeft het naar gevoel dat hij verantwoordelijk is voor de moord.

2. The victim of the Sordimo family: er heeft een moord plaatsgevonden bij het Rijland Lyceum in Oegstgeest. Niguanta en Remy, twee tegenstrijdige persoonlijkheden komen bij elkaar om de moord op te lossen. Iedereen zegt dat het zelfmoord was maar Niguanta en Remy weten beter.

3. The beastslayer and I: Niteria probeert een goede vriend van haar uit de gevangenis te redden. Maar er is wel een probleem: ze moet een vampier doden. Alsof het niet genoeg is, haar gast, een beestslachter volgt hij overal en ze heeft ook nog eens te maken met bloeddorstige hondachtige monsters.

4. Niteria: haar levensverhaal. Na de dood van haar vijf beste vrienden keert ze terug naar het kleine dorpje van Dreonia. Wanneer ze vertrekt, is ze niet alleen, Rida, een jonge man zoekend naar avontuur besluit om haar te volgen zonder dat ze dat in de gaten heeft. Drin, Rida's beste vriend denkt dat Rida ontvoert is en gaat achter Rida aan. Ze komen alleemaal bij de Grote Stad terecht waar dromen maar ook je ergste nachtmerries uitkomen.

5. Lidia Day: een fanverhaal voor de filmserie Supernatural. Dean wordt langzaam door een demon gedood. Lidia moet hem snel helpen maar dit kan ze niet doen zonder de hulp van Sam.

6. Cursed ever after: nog een fanverhaal voor de filmserie Vampire Diaries. Simona is een 1000 jaar oud half vampier/ half weerwolf. Ze is verliefd op Damon omdat hij zo veel op Gabriel lijkt. Maar ze kan niet in de buurt komen van vampieren omdat ze ze eigenlijk niet uit kan staan en de kans dat ze hen vermoord zeer groot is.