12 November 2010

Another part of a story dedicated to my best friend

Perhaps my curse is that I was born.
My mother was a vampire and my father a werewolf, nothing more but nothing less. I have lived over a thousand years and have experienced every aspect of humanity and wilderness there could ever exist. Pain is my every day companion and I have grown used to it. I torture myself regularly and I have committed suicide more often than I can remember, in many different ways. I found jumping off a building the most deliberating one.
My name is Simone and this is my story.

One thousand years have passed but I only remember the last 500 years. I met someone, someone that did not spit on me for who I was and did not invent ways to kill me. Someone who loved me for who I was and made me laugh every morning and smile every evening. He was human and I was happy.
As all good aspects in life, this one too had to be destroyed. One day he was taken from me. We were together laughing and joking. Then he died just like that, right before my eyes, killed and burned, gone.  I could not rescue him. They killed me as well but what does killing mean to an immortal? I truly mean the word and every sense of it. I cannot die. So help me God I cannot die in any way: head cut off, burned, injected with silver, shot, stabbed in the heart, you name it. Once I was locked up for 50 years. I believe that is the only way to stop me. Stop me from what? I don't know but people tend to believe bad things about me. I guess a vampire with lycanthrope tendencies does not look very friendly.
For hundreds of years I longed for the love I had lost and searched for similarities in others but never found them as precise as I desired. Until 150 years ago.
I was chasing a wolf pack for my own amusement or desperation. I liked being surrounded by wolves as they made me feel accepted and part of a family. But it was always temporary until they sensed my true nature and ran away.
Running through the forest I reached a house. It was tall, white and impressive. It took me a moment to see it all. And as simple as some things in life can be, I saw him. He sat on the porch. He just sat there. Years of searching, dreaming, praying and giving up and now there he was. Imagine my reaction. I did not approach him. I just kept watching from behind a tree, studying his features. He looked wonderful: black smooth hair falling over an angel face with dark eyes and perfect skin. I tried to find the differences between him and the one I lost. I couldn't. He looked exactly the same, as if he had stayed alive all those years. It could have made sense if my love had not been human. I did not approach him. I decided to watch him that whole day instead. It all seemed normal for as normal as life was in those days. He lived in a small town with few people, all knowing each other of course. From the looks of it, he was fortunate with a house, a family, he had a brother and a father with whom he dined. In addition, he had love. Naturally, there had to be love in his life, a woman who would touch his face, kiss those lips and be held in his arms. He was living a life my lost love did not have. He was happy and his future lay ahead. I wanted to see him that night. I wanted to tell him I loved him. I wanted to look in his eyes and maybe see something. The resemblance was so great, maybe he was brought back to me. I climbed to his window and waited for the perfect moment. He stood in his room, a beautifully decorated chamber with gold and white colors and flowers on the ceiling. It was now or never.

Then it happened. I sensed it. It was horrible. I saw him. I saw him drink blood. I took a step back then I ran back in the forest.
My heart had been blinding my eyes all day and I did not even stop and looked at the way he truly was: a vampire. Those perfect features, the way he moved. I did not stop and think of how inhuman he was because the memories made him look so divine to me. It took me less than a second to realize that the woman he loved was the one that turned him and his brother was a vampire too. Their father was not a vampire and I wondered if he knew. What a twisted happening it was but that was not all. When I thought he was human I was planning to speak to him. That was made impossible now.
Beside my pitiful life, I had another curse. I have been cursed so many times over the years but this one particular curse decided to stay with me. Although I am half vampire whenever I meet one...I must kill him. I have always tried to avoid them in my journeys and the ones I could not avoid have died. I never met a vampire I did not kill. Perhaps that the curse brought out my true nature. I hated vampires. My parents were killed by vampires and by vampires only. My father was not good enough for their royal blood. Love affairs between vampires and werewolves, the rich and the poor, always end up in a tragedy.
I kept my distance from the man, the vampire I so desperately loved. I kept my distance from the ones around him as well. I started following him everywhere instead, like a puppy eager to be pet. That gave me the opportunity to watch his life and the ones around him. The woman he loved did not seem to be able to choose between him and his brother. She treated him worse than his brother. He was a slave for her. His love was being wasted. His brother seemed so much different than him. Their personalities were contradictory. Only tragedy followed from that moment on. I always blamed myself for it even though I was merely a spectator. It ended up with him leaving his home wondering alone in the world. I wanted to follow him, talk to him but I couldn't. I knew I would probably kill him and I did not want to cope with another loss yet again. But I hoped that someday I would be able to approach him, force myself to deal with this vampire hatred, look in his eyes and hopefully.... at that moment I made a decision I did not think I was capable of. As wise men always say if you love someone you have to let them go. So I did. But not in my heart.
It was few weeks ago when I saw him again. He came back in the old town. When I heard about it I could not stop myself from coming as well. That is when I decided I had to face him once and for all.

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